AHh, so that particular paragraph really did take plac
Also if you want to write a long poem like this again, refrain yourself from repeating minor points / feelings, unless they play a part.
Lol ravey...dont be so hard on her.. this is a very good poem.. sheesh
but it's a good suggestion there by ravey ^^ and i bet you'll do better next time ^^
Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
I'm BACK AO!
Hmmm... it has something in it... I enjoyed reading this and I really do like how you write and at last I've come to find something about you (and about your username, without looking in the "username" thread)...
The great thing in this is that you've told a story here... a really great story of complicated relationships... that's not easy to do ^^
A nice work here and I really hope to see more ^^ Cheers!
My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge
This is a excellent poem that you had written... I can see how you displayed the innocence of love & the deceptive ways of it also... That is very true in the game of love it can be so kind, but also so harsh... < Keep up the good work >