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Thread: Too late

  1. #1
    Otaku Sashacat may be famous one day Sashacat may be famous one day Sashacat's Avatar
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    Too late

    My eyes opened slowly to you
    I was ready to tell
    I adored you
    I liked you
    Building up courage day by day
    I was ready to tell what I had to say
    Letting out one last shake
    I turned to tell you before too late
    Into your eyes I stared
    My lips opened to say what I had prepared
    Before I knew it you were speaking
    You told me you something that sent me freaking
    You kissed another girl
    She wasn't me
    Nor was I her
    All that courage built up washed away
    Now I had nothing to say
    I shook with fear and tears
    It had taken me all these years
    I wanted to say it for once
    I wanted to say it no matter the loss
    Now here I stood
    Just a moment too late
    What a fool I felt
    My heart without any help
    These words I wanted to give
    Now would be too painful to say and live
    My heart's walls all down
    How unprepared I was for that breaking sound
    For once in my life
    I wanted to say I like you
    Now that I'm too late
    My heart is something I'm beginning to hate


    (Mmm...idk...enjoy the sucky story/poem thingy..mabob?)

  2. #2
    Newbie michiru726 may be famous one day michiru726 may be famous one day michiru726's Avatar
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    Re: Too late

    no it's not sucky! it's awesome, really! ^_^
    but hmm... it would be better if you add "it's" on the eighth line... i think the flow kinda stopped there, at least for me though... keep it up... ^_^

    "Deviously Revamped."



  3. #3
    Angel Of Darkness Vontech may be famous one day Vontech may be famous one day Vontech's Avatar
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    Re: Too late

    The poem you write is not that bad. But I have to agree it would sound better if you did put it's on the eighth line.

  4. #4
    Sorrow's Angel Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel's Avatar
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    Re: Too late

    Wow,I liked it I think it's awesome,sad but awesome! Good job
    Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^

  5. #5
    Otaku Arnys Battle 2 Champion sora the king of dreams may be famous one day sora the king of dreams may be famous one day sora the king of dreams's Avatar
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    Re: Too late

    No I think it's really good and for that I will give you a ten great work.

    I live in the shadows and I am as fast as the speed of light, but I use my ability's to help people even though they fear me for who I am.

    A Brand new Theme song for all my friends who use to come to Ao and the People that still come's to Ao.
    http://video.freevideoblog.com/hotte...7631ca1c2a.htm

  6. #6
    Newbie bloody_ryoko may be famous one day bloody_ryoko may be famous one day bloody_ryoko's Avatar
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    Re: Too late

    cool work here.... something struck me when i'm reading this really... its really nice... keep up the good work
    beware... you might just loss your breath wothout noticing it...

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