Is it too much?

Sazzy · Oct 26, 2007, 08:09 AM

My mood soon changes,
Anger starts to spread.
I'm sitting here thinking,
Where did I go wrong?
I was sitting here crying,
Asking you for help.
Instead I felt so stupid,
Talking in a different language.
I was looking for support,
Opening up to you.
But instead I got a cold chill,
Brushes away, out of sight.
Was what I did so wrong?
Was it too much to ask?

*RayMe* · Oct 26, 2007, 08:17 AM

Hmmm...simple and straight to the point.. nicely written.. ^^ i suggest some methaphores

make it sassier~! xD

Ichigo_06 · Oct 26, 2007, 08:21 AM

Wow D you have alot of confusion there wish I was able to help like you helped me, good poem anyways.

Sazzy · Oct 26, 2007, 08:47 AM

thank you both, When I get emotional I tend to write poems that are really straight to the point as I find it easier to just say how I feel and not try to cut corners.

ihauntforlust · Oct 26, 2007, 08:49 AM

.....Sazzy @.@

Wow, I love this poem! So much emotion of sadness and depression...I feel like that almost everytime I fight with my....bf... I hate the feeling when You quetion yourself but can't answer either...

But I like the poem non the less!

-x- Zainab -x-

Sazzy · Oct 26, 2007, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ihauntforlust

.....Sazzy @.@

Wow, I love this poem! So much emotion of sadness and depression...I feel like that almost everytime I fight with my....bf... I hate the feeling when You quetion yourself but can't answer either...

But I like the poem non the less!

-x- Zainab -x-

yeah I felt really alone last night and I was chatting with my boyfriend but I dunno, I felt more alone then ever and was looking for something and ended up crying

Thanks for commenting ihauntforlust

*Peach_follows* · Oct 28, 2007, 08:13 PM

I like this. The feeling it gave was very sincere. Im also enjoying the fact that your poems are on the shorter side, yet they all pack in quite a bit of emotion. I'll be keeping an eye out for more of your work.

xxoxx · Oct 29, 2007, 12:48 AM

That was sad feeling and lonely too how bad that?
It's hard to feel lonely and that what make us start to ask too much ..This poem really short but in same time really awesome work so weel done Sazzy..^^

*Lasura* · Nov 01, 2007, 03:34 PM

Omg... who did that to you!? Who needs to get beaten up *takes a fork* and eaten up!!! Give that person to me!!!!

Though that has inspired you to write this great poem. Very nice again- short, emotional and I could see myself in it... I could imagine myself sitting like that with anger building in me... my next step would be smashing the walls and throwing something outside the window (to hit his head)...

Anyways... great, emotional work, I loved reading it and I hope to see more! ^^

EDIT:
Sheesh I must read comments more carefully

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sazzy

yeah I felt really alone last night and I was chatting with my boyfriend but I dunno, I felt more alone then ever and was looking for something and ended up crying

So it was your boyfriend? Damn do I know how that feels... That really sucks... But things like this happen... guys sometimes are dumb

Anyways the poem is old so my fork won't be needed, right?

Sazzy · Nov 01, 2007, 03:36 PM

Thank you for your comment. Its something that has passes and won't be happening again. I just let my emotions get to me and I find writing poems is the only way to release that emotion.

*Lasura* · Nov 01, 2007, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sazzy

Thank you for your comment. Its something that has passes and won't be happening again. I just let my emotions get to me and I find writing poems is the only way to release that emotion.

Yup, got that ^^ And again... I know how that feels... I always put my emotion out on paper and sometimes am sorry afterwards...

When my bf did a think like ignoring my sadness... I ended up saying sorry myself

Oct 26, 2007, 08:09 AM	#1 (permalink)
Sazzy Member of 22 yr old Club Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: In my imagination restricted by British Society! Posts: 1,807 Thanks: 7 Thanked 15 Times in 12 Posts Credits: 33,009	Is it too much? My mood soon changes, Anger starts to spread. I'm sitting here thinking, Where did I go wrong? I was sitting here crying, Asking you for help. Instead I felt so stupid, Talking in a different language. I was looking for support, Opening up to you. But instead I got a cold chill, Brushes away, out of sight. Was what I did so wrong? Was it too much to ask? __________________ FAVOURITE THREADS EXPLAIN why, or risk an infraction. *Will no long use any signatures.. only on forums that appreciate my effort.*
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Oct 26, 2007, 08:17 AM	#2 (permalink)
RayMe 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better... Posts: 3,601 Thanks: 54 Thanked 26 Times in 23 Posts Credits: 59,138	Re: Is it to much? Hmmm...simple and straight to the point.. nicely written.. ^^ i suggest some methaphores make it sassier~! xD __________________ Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!! The best ever Lasura~! >>>myspace<<<
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Oct 26, 2007, 08:21 AM	#3 (permalink)
Ichigo_06 Dragonrider Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: On the back of my dragon escaping everything and ignoring the pain. Posts: 611 Thanks: 15 Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts Credits: 4,734	Re: Is it to much? Wow D you have alot of confusion there wish I was able to help like you helped me, good poem anyways. __________________ ナサンフォオツド Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever! Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173
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Oct 26, 2007, 08:47 AM	#4 (permalink)
Sazzy Member of 22 yr old Club Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: In my imagination restricted by British Society! Posts: 1,807 Thanks: 7 Thanked 15 Times in 12 Posts Credits: 33,009	Re: Is it to much? thank you both, When I get emotional I tend to write poems that are really straight to the point as I find it easier to just say how I feel and not try to cut corners. __________________ FAVOURITE THREADS EXPLAIN why, or risk an infraction. *Will no long use any signatures.. only on forums that appreciate my effort.*
Status: Offline

Oct 26, 2007, 08:49 AM	#5 (permalink)
ihauntforlust Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: In a house. ._. Posts: 224 Thanks: 1 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 6,397	Re: Is it to much? .....Sazzy @.@ Wow, I love this poem! So much emotion of sadness and depression...I feel like that almost everytime I fight with my....bf... I hate the feeling when You quetion yourself but can't answer either... But I like the poem non the less! -x- Zainab -x- __________________ [ײַ] þøק¢σяη├†┤.. ~: 3!
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Oct 28, 2007, 08:13 PM	#7 (permalink)
Peach_follows Femmebot's feel nothing. Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Friendly Fridley Posts: 1,037 Thanks: 42 Thanked 33 Times in 31 Posts Credits: 2,978	Re: Is it to much? I like this. The feeling it gave was very sincere. Im also enjoying the fact that your poems are on the shorter side, yet they all pack in quite a bit of emotion. I'll be keeping an eye out for more of your work. __________________ Who needs a spray can, when you're a femmebot? http://www.myspace.com/j1gg481tt
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Oct 29, 2007, 12:48 AM	#8 (permalink)
xxoxx Otaku Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: 無くなった Posts: 355 Thanks: 3 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts Credits: 3,627	Re: Is it to much? That was sad feeling and lonely too how bad that? It's hard to feel lonely and that what make us start to ask too much ..This poem really short but in same time really awesome work so weel done Sazzy..^^ __________________ "I'm not going there to die. I'm going to find out if I'm really alive." Spike Spiegel (Cowboy Bebop)
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Nov 01, 2007, 03:36 PM	#10 (permalink)
Sazzy Member of 22 yr old Club Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: In my imagination restricted by British Society! Posts: 1,807 Thanks: 7 Thanked 15 Times in 12 Posts Credits: 33,009	Re: Is it too much? Thank you for your comment. Its something that has passes and won't be happening again. I just let my emotions get to me and I find writing poems is the only way to release that emotion. __________________ FAVOURITE THREADS EXPLAIN why, or risk an infraction. *Will no long use any signatures.. only on forums that appreciate my effort.*
Status: Offline

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