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Thread: Torment

  1. #1
    ~Counting Down the Days~ NevesElocin may be famous one day NevesElocin may be famous one day NevesElocin's Avatar
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    I pray for the sweet release of forgiveness
    To not have to to taste the bitterness of misery
    And this searing guilt

    I wish for peace of mind
    To sleep soundly once again
    And breathe easy once more

    Is this selfish to want what I don't deserve
    To enjoy the safety that I so foolishly cast off
    And seek the love that I lost

    My heart will not give up its torment against me
    It screams loudly of my treason, my crime
    Wishing to send me into the depths of despair

    Who made ne to endure such persecution
    To face such unending torment
    Cursing me from the day I was concieved

    Is it so wrong to want to achieve happiness
    Even at great cost
    I want it so badly

    I wish for this torment to end
    To be back to the way so true and pure
    And to stand by your side once more

    Thus these passionate words I speak without holding back
    To lay upon your pillow
    And speak to you in the darks of night

    Our love will go on until the end of time. I will always be yours and you will be mine.

  2. #2
    Otaku ING Cricket Champion, Chickenboy Chucky Champion, Dancer duck Champion, Jake,s Fire Power Champion, Bomber Bob Champion, Road Hogs Champion, Van Champion, Hacker Champion, Gorillaz Tiles Champion, Clicken Gold Champion, Galleon Champion, QBeez Champion ihauntforlust is off to a good start
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    Cool Re: Torment

    *applauses* Well done!!!

    Excellent poem and a very strong meaning!!! The beginning was like WOW, but the ending was like WOW-er .

    This is really nicely done...Maybe you should try 'Poem of the Month'

    Lots of sad emotion was shown in between of the poem (My honest opinion), But it ended really sweetly.


  3. #3
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    Re: Torment

    oh my... *applauses along with zainab while standing* i agree with zainab there...

    The way the poem goes was very good..a strong poem which ended sweetly...it's very nicely written nice work ^^ keep up the good job,... why kogs haven't commented.. hhmm..

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  4. #4
    ??* Judge and Executioner ??* White Van Man Champion, Home Run Derby Champion, Mahjongg sport Champion, Jewel Champion, The Asteroids Champion koga23 may be famous one day koga23 may be famous one day koga23's Avatar
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    Re: Torment

    Quote Originally Posted by RayMe View Post
    why kogs haven't commented.. hhmm..
    Becuase i was doing some thing thats why.

    As for the poem very well done ! very nice flow to it.It was a little dark but even so i still liked it allot specially the ending.Good to see some poems from you again.
    ....Player Killer....
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  5. #5
    Otaku Dune Bashing In Dubai Champion, Yetisports 10 - Icicle Climb Champion, Yeti Bubbles Champion overload is off to a good start overload's Avatar
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    Re: Torment

    well this is a very strong emotional poem,
    it reads like you are saying it to your family, and that you wish for them to take you back.
    all in all I find it without a doubt wonderful and sad all at the same time.
    congratulations on a job well done.

  6. #6
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    Re: Torment

    OMG! This was put together very well! This poem is so sad, yet so friggin' BEAUTIFUL at the same time!!! I like your vocabulary alot. I especially like how you question whether it's right or wrong to want to be happy. That's a common question amongst us humans these days. It is morally right to be happy at the risk of yourself or others? We don't know for sure, but I think that whatever makes you happy is nothing but right.

    Good work!

  7. #7
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: Torment

    I have to agree with everyone on this Neves it is really good I liked it. My favorite from you so far. keep up the good work. I am glad to read another good poem from you. nice job
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

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