Tormented by You

It's been a while since I wrote a poem. writer's block really really bad, but I would greatly appreciate any comments!



Tormented by You

Our emotions explode and begin to flare like fire
A gaping hole to hell opens in our hearts and we fall
Memories of lost love start to fade into eternal darkness
Like the sunlight as rain clouds cover and begin to form

Your tears flow and begin to rush like a raging river
I reach out to hold on to root which is my new life
The passion we once shared now a never ending dream
Like a soulful jazz song the music plays and life goes on

Finally the endless waltz stops and my chains broken
Leave the thought of us in the grave that you created
Black roses sit on the tombstone with the memory of you
Never more to think of the senseless mind games

So go on with your life and let me live mine peacefully
Put someone else in your field of your thorns to bleed
Let their heart suffer the never ending misery they fear
For you see if you look in the mirror the devil is right there

I love it, ^_^ it sounds like a story and a poem put together and its pretty good. Good job 9/10. Though it seem to be lacking something, but I don't know i'm not all that good myself.

very awesome poem bro and the anger you put in it was really intence
i loved ityou really are getting better at this

OMG!!!! That was amazing,wonderful,awesome!!! I can soooo relate 2 this,since a friend of mine went through something like that.The emotion in this poem is amazing!! Awesome job as always Fox! :)

Fma1012-Thanks Buddy for you awesome comment as always "You Rock!" :smile:

HolderofTheDarkChalice-Bro you are always there when I need you and I appreciate every comment you've given me! Also if you ever need me I'll be there!:thumb:

Shinigami's_Angel-*Hugs Shini* Thank you Angel your comments and encouragement mean a lot to me if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have started writing poems! "My Shini is the Best!" :smile:

Sounds like a big agrument packed into a poem, that takes skill to do something like that. So 10 out of 10 in my score book, great job!

Anime_Being_God: Thanks for the awesome comment and rating my poem 10 out of 10! Now if only more people would read it that would be awesome!

I have to admit, this is Free Verse done well, not an easy thing to do. it has a nice rythem to it