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Thread: The Tree That Broke My Life

  1. #1
    Newbie The Dave is off to a good start
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    The Tree That Broke My Life

    K, the title sucks, I already know that because I suck at titling my pieces. But yeah, this happened over 1.5 years ago and I wrote about it for the sake of writing about it because lately I've just been writing happy stuff and I wanted to write something with a different mood. Input and constructive criticism is always good .

    The Tree That Broke My Life

    Your pale blue eyes were always a mystery to me and
    I finally realized what they had been hiding from me
    And from everyone else for all those years, my dear
    You've got a rabid cage of flames behind those orbs of
    Yours and they dance so seductively.

    I honestly can't say if it was the kind words or your
    Kind hips that made me fall for you but somewhere
    Along that rustly nail road my heart took a fondness
    For yours and you claimed that yours did the same,
    But my tears don't show that.

    Once I dreamt of a tree making love to the sky with
    Each of its skinny branches stroking it's spine and
    I saw your face giving a wink in one of those clouds
    While a lonely little boy lay in front of the pond allowing
    The water level to raise just a little more.

    I wish I had never fallen for you, but that doesn't
    Make this any easier. I've been abused before but
    My heart has never been battered quite like that and
    All I can remember now is that little seductive look
    You gave me night after night, it does like to taunt me
    In my dreams still.

  2. #2
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    Re: The Tree That Broke My Life

    very cool poem the way you detail
    ypur romance and how you fell hard
    from love harsh reailty , i felt like this
    a while back and i have to say everything
    seemed to hurt 3 times as bad after we broke up.

    i could see anything with it reminding me of
    her of course i got over it but the feeling was
    something i wouldnt wish on my wosrt enemy
    your poem really is sad and very true when it comes
    to letting go of someone who you love so much but
    reallt have no choice.
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

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    Talking Re: The Tree That Broke My Life

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dave View Post
    K, the title sucks, I already know that because I suck at titling my pieces. But yeah, this happened over 1.5 years ago and I wrote about it for the sake of writing about it because lately I've just been writing happy stuff and I wanted to write something with a different mood. Input and constructive criticism is always good .

    The Tree That Broke My Life

    Your pale blue eyes were always a mystery to me and
    I finally realized what they had been hiding from me
    And from everyone else for all those years, my dear
    You've got a rabid cage of flames behind those orbs of
    Yours and they dance so seductively.

    I honestly can't say if it was the kind words or your
    Kind hips that made me fall for you but somewhere
    Along that rustly nail road my heart took a fondness
    For yours and you claimed that yours did the same,
    But my tears don't show that.

    Once I dreamt of a tree making love to the sky with
    Each of its skinny branches stroking it's spine and
    I saw your face giving a wink in one of those clouds
    While a lonely little boy lay in front of the pond allowing
    The water level to raise just a little more.

    I wish I had never fallen for you, but that doesn't
    Make this any easier. I've been abused before but
    My heart has never been battered quite like that and
    All I can remember now is that little seductive look
    You gave me night after night, it does like to taunt me
    In my dreams still.
    I FRIGGIN' LOVE IT!! I really wish I could write as well as you do. You've got a knack for words. Keep up the good work, and I hope to see more of your writing soon! ^_^


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    Banned The White Wolf is off to a good start
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    Re: The Tree That Broke My Life

    This poem is very... different. It sheds a new light for me on what poetry can be. Great job. It's very ... lol, different I must say. I'd love to read more of your work.

  5. #5
    Newbie The Dave is off to a good start
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    Re: The Tree That Broke My Life

    Quote Originally Posted by The White Wolf View Post
    This poem is very... different. It sheds a new light for me on what poetry can be. Great job. It's very ... lol, different I must say. I'd love to read more of your work.
    I'll srounge around tomorrow or Sunday for some more. And thanks for the kind replies Atomik and Holder .

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