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Thread: Trying

  1. #1
    Newbie fredsboo is off to a good start fredsboo's Avatar
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    Trying

    Trying not to lose grip.
    I hold on tight.

    Trying to scream but my screams can't be heard.
    Hanging on to your hand slowly slipping away.........

    Praying I will wake from this nightmare...
    Opening my eyes seeing you sliping through my hands...

    Trying to grab hold But falling faster...
    I never saw you falling blinded by my own deceit....

    I couldn't I couldnt see you falling from my grip till it was to late...



    ummmmmmmmmmm......well its short but i hope yall like it lol I could really figer out what to write i guess cuz i wrote it like months ago but hope yall enjoy it...
    Im the type of girl who burst out laughing in silents about something that happened yesterday

  2. #2
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: Trying

    <woot> Although it is a short poem fredsboo it's still a good one! Keep writing and I'm sure that you poems become even more amazing in time! I'll be looking for the next one from you soon!

  3. #3
    Otaku Just Pitching Champion, Mile High Club Champion, Penguin Dive Champion, Gold Strike Champion Darkened_Star may be famous one day Darkened_Star may be famous one day Darkened_Star's Avatar
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    Re: Trying

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueFox1 View Post
    <woot> Although it is a short poem fredsboo it's still a good one! Keep writing and I'm sure that you poems become even more amazing in time! I'll be looking for the next one from you soon!
    I agree with BlueFox. It's short, but I enjoyed it. I like the first two lines. I've actually started one of my poems out similar to the way you did. It's more of a story poem because it goes on forever. I'll have to find it and post it here for you to read. Anyway, I enjoyed it and look forward to reading more.

    Come dance in the rain with me, no one is watching.

  4. #4
    Newbie fredsboo is off to a good start fredsboo's Avatar
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    Re: Trying

    Well thanx yall Im glad yall liked it n that would be nice to see the one you wrote.........Im happy yall liked it
    Im the type of girl who burst out laughing in silents about something that happened yesterday

  5. #5
    Sorrow's Angel Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel's Avatar
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    Re: Trying

    Awesome as always my dearest friend!! Emotion,emotion,emotion!! Lovely lol. Can't wait 2 see more!! Great job!!
    Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^

  6. #6
    Newbie fredsboo is off to a good start fredsboo's Avatar
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    Re: Trying

    Thanx shini lol Im glad you liked it I was hopein you would lol
    Im the type of girl who burst out laughing in silents about something that happened yesterday

  7. #7
    Banned The White Wolf is off to a good start
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    Re: Trying

    Nice poem, fredsboo. I enjoyed it. It gives off the feeling of shock. You couldn't believe that you had been letting him silently slip away all this time.

    Nice job! I hope to read more of your work.

  8. #8
    Newbie fredsboo is off to a good start fredsboo's Avatar
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    Re: Trying

    Quote Originally Posted by The White Wolf View Post
    Nice poem, fredsboo. I enjoyed it. It gives off the feeling of shock. You couldn't believe that you had been letting him silently slip away all this time.

    Nice job! I hope to read more of your work.
    thanx Im glad you liked it I wrote it a while back lol n just remmembered it lol I was hopein yall liked it lol
    Im the type of girl who burst out laughing in silents about something that happened yesterday

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