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Old Apr 03, 2007, 08:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Trying

Trying not to lose grip.
I hold on tight.

Trying to scream but my screams can't be heard.
Hanging on to your hand slowly slipping away.........

Praying I will wake from this nightmare...
Opening my eyes seeing you sliping through my hands...

Trying to grab hold But falling faster...
I never saw you falling blinded by my own deceit....

I couldn't I couldnt see you falling from my grip till it was to late...



ummmmmmmmmmm......well its short but i hope yall like it lol I could really figer out what to write i guess cuz i wrote it like months ago but hope yall enjoy it...
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Old Apr 04, 2007, 01:25 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Trying

<woot> Although it is a short poem fredsboo it's still a good one! Keep writing and I'm sure that you poems become even more amazing in time! I'll be looking for the next one from you soon!
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Old Apr 04, 2007, 05:54 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Trying

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<woot> Although it is a short poem fredsboo it's still a good one! Keep writing and I'm sure that you poems become even more amazing in time! I'll be looking for the next one from you soon!
I agree with BlueFox. It's short, but I enjoyed it. I like the first two lines. I've actually started one of my poems out similar to the way you did. It's more of a story poem because it goes on forever. I'll have to find it and post it here for you to read. Anyway, I enjoyed it and look forward to reading more.
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Old Apr 04, 2007, 06:01 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Trying

Well thanx yall Im glad yall liked it n that would be nice to see the one you wrote.........Im happy yall liked it
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Old Apr 04, 2007, 06:13 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Trying

Awesome as always my dearest friend!! Emotion,emotion,emotion!! Lovely lol. Can't wait 2 see more!! Great job!!
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Old Apr 04, 2007, 06:17 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Trying

Thanx shini lol Im glad you liked it I was hopein you would lol
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Old Apr 06, 2007, 06:49 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Trying

Nice poem, fredsboo. I enjoyed it. It gives off the feeling of shock. You couldn't believe that you had been letting him silently slip away all this time.

Nice job! I hope to read more of your work.
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Old Apr 07, 2007, 06:36 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Trying

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Nice poem, fredsboo. I enjoyed it. It gives off the feeling of shock. You couldn't believe that you had been letting him silently slip away all this time.

Nice job! I hope to read more of your work.
thanx Im glad you liked it I wrote it a while back lol n just remmembered it lol I was hopein yall liked it lol
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