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Thread: Under the sun we suffer

  1. #1
    Otaku Bike Stunts Champion Shonen may be famous one day Shonen may be famous one day Shonen's Avatar
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    Post Under the sun we suffer

    Note: This is NOT a poem. Period.

    Under the sun we suffer

    The sun shines, the shadows are cast
    There's no telling if it will last
    But know this, this is the truth
    The sun brings joy and the shadows bring death

    There are ones that live in the light
    as there are others that prefer the dark,
    those wretched, withered shells

    They embrace the darkness that rots their soul
    as it is the pain that keeps them alive,
    feeding them the essence that gives them their form

    Live the sun, live the shadows
    but to get caught in either one brings death
    I tell the tale for I am stuck, rotting, withering away
    with no sun to glance at, no warmth on my skin, just the cold,
    harsh emptiness within...
    Last edited by Shonen; Jun 10, 2006 at 12:15 AM.

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    Otaku tupacs_wifey may be famous one day tupacs_wifey may be famous one day tupacs_wifey's Avatar
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    Re: Under the sun we suffer

    beatiful poem............................

    HolderOfThe
    DarkChalice's LiL sis

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    Otaku NightFox may be famous one day NightFox may be famous one day NightFox's Avatar
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    Re: Under the sun we suffer

    yay new poet ^_^

    Really nice, this is something that I could expect from you.
    You were able to keep style nicely all the way to end.
    Maybe bit "dark"...ehm poem? But hey...it's done by you.


    Love hurts...trust me I know, I really do...

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    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: Under the sun we suffer

    i like the peom for the fact
    you discribed both light and dark
    and hoe both hae one thing
    in common death. i think this
    poem makes a statment about
    life and death . but thats is just my opinion
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  5. #5
    Otaku Hold.Me.X.Thrill.Me may be famous one day Hold.Me.X.Thrill.Me may be famous one day Hold.Me.X.Thrill.Me's Avatar
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    Re: Under the sun we suffer

    I like how you used the concept of the sun and the shadows, unique!

    My favourite bit:
    They embrace the darkness that rots their soul
    as it is the pain that keeps them alive,
    feeding them the essence that gives them their form
    I think this part gives the whole poem more of a darker feel.

    Very good poem ^^

    TY Sasurai for the lovely sig!*

  6. #6
    Otaku Bike Stunts Champion Shonen may be famous one day Shonen may be famous one day Shonen's Avatar
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    Re: Under the sun we suffer

    That's my favourite part too. I appreciate your comments

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