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Reply With QuoteOMG!! Awesome as always Fox!!! I soooo love this!!! The emotions in this poem is sooo strong!!! Truly amazing! Awesome job as always Fox!
I used my usual writing style in the poem, but I wanted to try and make more of an image for the reader. I hope you all enjoy! Comments and critiques welcome!
Unforgettable
Thoughts of once being love burned into my mind
Like the pain of a kid falling and scraping his knee
Never to forget your venomous poison in my heart
Seeping through my veins turning my blood black
Eternal flames now surround and engulf my heart
Causing every emotion I once felt to flee my soul
As I lay lifeless on the ground watching you smile
I realize that the my love will never be rejuvenated
Now bound to death by your relentless thorns of hell
The hatred for you now sets in and forms a new devil
Now your heart begins to beat as your love emerges
Like a phoenix from its red warm slumbering ashes
You start to remember the love etched onto you heart
As kids remember the joys playing and making friends
Tears start to form as you being to take head to reality
Now you realize you want and had an unforgettable love
OMG!! Awesome as always Fox!!! I soooo love this!!! The emotions in this poem is sooo strong!!! Truly amazing! Awesome job as always Fox!
Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^
very awseome poem bro this poem screams pain
and mistrust atleast thats what i get from it , and i
have to say this poem was intence i really loved it.
and you did good with the detail i could feel how it felt
with the hurt , but i have been there my self with this
but the poem brings it back you did awesome
I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
Isolate and save you from yourself
Great job on the poem. I really liked it . I can't wait to read your next one.
"Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
Thanks so much I love it!
OH MY GOSH. Fox that was the best poem I have ever read. Just reading it gave me goose bumps. Thanks for posting it so I can read it. Keep up your good work and keep posting.
™Mommy To Micah And Shawn!™
Thanks For The Amazing Tag Pyro!
I see what you mean about trying to get the reader to visualize an image. But.. Hmm. the wording seems iffy, as if you tried too hard to do that.
Seduced by Flesh
Thanks to all who commented on my poem!
Angel: Thank you!*Hugs* couldn't have done it without your awesome AMV that's what inspired and helped me through my writer's block!You Rock!
HolderofTheDarkChalice: Bro thanks for being there and understanding what I'm talking about! I wouldn't be writing if I didn't have three of the greatest friends out there ie...You, Angel, and fma1012!
Cherryblossom18: Thank you for your kind words, and I trying to keep them coming promise!
Ky-lyrra: Thank you for reading my poem and I promise to continue to write after all it is a part of me now!Oh and your welcome I'm glad that you like my poem! Honestly you should thank Angel though cause without her I wouldn't have posted it!
Kasai: I appreciate the critique and I had a really bad spot of writer's block so if it seems a little forced, my apologies and I'll make the appropriate correction in my next poem.
Once again thanks to all who took the time to read and critique my poem I appreciate it!
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