until the end

wolfleaf · May 09, 2008, 11:14 AM

“When the first living thing came out of the water,
I was there waiting for it.
When the last living thing dies,
My job will be done.
I will put the chairs on the tables,
Turn out the lights,
And lock the universe
Behind me as I leave this world.”
-DEATH-

mere · May 09, 2008, 12:24 PM

i like this poem..it different from what i am used to reading i like how u realated closeing down of a work place for the night with the withering down of life..so to speak... anyways this poem was sweet. a joy reading it

Corvus · May 09, 2008, 02:05 PM

Well done. I'm with mere that image of closing up work is admirable.
I for once have nothing to say about the piece. It's short which suits it and adds to the caracter of the personified death. Also the way you have it seemingly signed at the end is also brief gives the character of death more mystery and yet makes him more concrete in the minds of readers. I also like how you took a speculative nature and assumed the omniscient point of view then, the asa matter of fact tone of finality.

I disagree with your message that death is all powerful. and that the earth is merely the last victim in his chain of tasks. But, it is a well expressed idea.

Please tell me that this is merely a small part of an extended piece. If not... well I might actually have to introduce you to my master. (ahaha get it? Corvus = raven = messenger of death...)
If it's not you should really consider writing a book in which Death is one of the chracters whom the maincharacter encounters. I really love your style.

cojoe5 · May 09, 2008, 02:08 PM

“When the first living thing came out of the water,
I was there waiting for it.
When the last living thing dies,
My job will be done.
I will put the chairs on the tables,
Turn out the lights,
And lock the universe
Behind me as I leave this world.”
-DEATH-

hey sorry but im going to steal your poem

Meruki23 · Jun 06, 2008, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolfleaf

“When the first living thing came out of the water,
I was there waiting for it.
When the last living thing dies,
My job will be done.
I will put the chairs on the tables,
Turn out the lights,
And lock the universe
Behind me as I leave this world.”
-DEATH-

This poem is very interesting. I like it very much. You should continue writing poems like that.

May 09, 2008, 11:14 AM	#1 (permalink)
wolfleaf Newbie Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: dark side of the moon Posts: 20 Thanks: 1 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 741	until the end “When the first living thing came out of the water, I was there waiting for it. When the last living thing dies, My job will be done. I will put the chairs on the tables, Turn out the lights, And lock the universe Behind me as I leave this world.” -DEATH- __________________ wolfleaf (the last of the fallen)
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May 09, 2008, 12:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
mere Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: in thought Posts: 104 Thanks: 4 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 6,394	Re: until the end i like this poem..it different from what i am used to reading i like how u realated closeing down of a work place for the night with the withering down of life..so to speak... anyways this poem was sweet. a joy reading it __________________ um....ah.....hi..
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May 09, 2008, 02:05 PM	#3 (permalink)
Corvus Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 286 Thanks: 11 Thanked 26 Times in 25 Posts Credits: 13,851	Re: until the end Well done. I'm with mere that image of closing up work is admirable. I for once have nothing to say about the piece. It's short which suits it and adds to the caracter of the personified death. Also the way you have it seemingly signed at the end is also brief gives the character of death more mystery and yet makes him more concrete in the minds of readers. I also like how you took a speculative nature and assumed the omniscient point of view then, the asa matter of fact tone of finality. I disagree with your message that death is all powerful. and that the earth is merely the last victim in his chain of tasks. But, it is a well expressed idea. Please tell me that this is merely a small part of an extended piece. If not... well I might actually have to introduce you to my master. (ahaha get it? Corvus = raven = messenger of death...) If it's not you should really consider writing a book in which Death is one of the chracters whom the maincharacter encounters. I really love your style. __________________ ... and join my rebellion against time.
Status: Offline

May 09, 2008, 02:08 PM	#4 (permalink)
cojoe5 Diamond in the Rough Join Date: May 2008 Location: Arkansas Posts: 164 Thanks: 4 Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts Credits: 4,319	Re: until the end “When the first living thing came out of the water, I was there waiting for it. When the last living thing dies, My job will be done. I will put the chairs on the tables, Turn out the lights, And lock the universe Behind me as I leave this world.” -DEATH- hey sorry but im going to steal your poem
Status: Offline

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