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Thread: until the end

  1. #1
    Newbie wolfleaf is off to a good start wolfleaf's Avatar
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    Post until the end

    “When the first living thing came out of the water,
    I was there waiting for it.
    When the last living thing dies,
    My job will be done.
    I will put the chairs on the tables,
    Turn out the lights,
    And lock the universe
    Behind me as I leave this world.”
    -DEATH-

    wolfleaf (the last of the fallen)

  2. #2
    Otaku mere is off to a good start mere's Avatar
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    Re: until the end

    i like this poem..it different from what i am used to reading i like how u realated closeing down of a work place for the night with the withering down of life..so to speak... anyways this poem was sweet. a joy reading it

  3. #3
    Otaku Caixa 2006 Champion Corvus may be famous one day Corvus may be famous one day Corvus's Avatar
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    Re: until the end

    Well done. I'm with mere that image of closing up work is admirable.
    I for once have nothing to say about the piece. It's short which suits it and adds to the caracter of the personified death. Also the way you have it seemingly signed at the end is also brief gives the character of death more mystery and yet makes him more concrete in the minds of readers. I also like how you took a speculative nature and assumed the omniscient point of view then, the asa matter of fact tone of finality.

    I disagree with your message that death is all powerful. and that the earth is merely the last victim in his chain of tasks. But, it is a well expressed idea.


    Please tell me that this is merely a small part of an extended piece. If not... well I might actually have to introduce you to my master. (ahaha get it? Corvus = raven = messenger of death...)
    If it's not you should really consider writing a book in which Death is one of the chracters whom the maincharacter encounters. I really love your style.

    ... and join my rebellion against time.

  4. #4
    Otaku cojoe5 is off to a good start
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    Re: until the end

    “When the first living thing came out of the water,
    I was there waiting for it.
    When the last living thing dies,
    My job will be done.
    I will put the chairs on the tables,
    Turn out the lights,
    And lock the universe
    Behind me as I leave this world.”
    -DEATH-

    hey sorry but im going to steal your poem

  5. #5
    Meruki23 is off to a good start Meruki23's Avatar
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    Re: until the end

    Quote Originally Posted by wolfleaf View Post
    “When the first living thing came out of the water,
    I was there waiting for it.
    When the last living thing dies,
    My job will be done.
    I will put the chairs on the tables,
    Turn out the lights,
    And lock the universe
    Behind me as I leave this world.”
    -DEATH-
    This poem is very interesting. I like it very much. You should continue writing poems like that.
    I'm Me, I'm who I want to be
    My future's under my control
    If you have anything to say, Say it now
    Cause I'm on the road to chase my dream

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