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Old Oct 30, 2006, 11:35 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Untitled

Untitled



People’s opinion clash like thunder and lightning
Striking the ground putting fear into hearts of many
Words of warmth and kindness thrown like daggers
Stabbing the hearts of the kind and unadulterated

Eyes of the innocent become teary and clouded
Tears that were pure now begin to bleed red
The unadulterated begin to shed their skins
Like a serpent beginning anew life before it strikes

The never ending cycle or heartache and grief
Resumes once more as does life and death
Piercing the mind like a needle does the skin
Reality like a drug it numbs and soon sets in


I'm having writers block so bare with me on this one. Comments and critiques are welcomed
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Old Oct 30, 2006, 11:52 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Untitled

very awesome bro i can relate to like thisin a few ways from being
hurt so many times myself ,people always changing never saying or doing
what they promiced . how they think and react it's all to much some times
where all you can do is just yell. i got that from reading this you did awesome
on this ,i might not can critiuqe poem like most but i love how you wrote this
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Old Oct 30, 2006, 01:00 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Untitled

Thanks Bro! It was kind of hard for me to write this one because I'm in a slump right now! But if you understood where I was going with this one then maybe I didn't do so bad! Thanks Bro!
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Old Oct 30, 2006, 01:16 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Untitled

no prob and i like this poem alot because i did under stand it to a point
and your slump will be a hump soon because life will always make sure
you even out in the end
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Old Oct 31, 2006, 09:17 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Untitled

Bro you're awesome I just hope that other people could relate to my poem like you were able to!
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