+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Untitled

  1. #1
    Newbie darkness of an angel is off to a good start darkness of an angel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    I'm everywhere
    Posts
    58
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Untitled

    C'mon, sweet misery;
    Show me darkness and fury.
    I need the rain
    And I want the pain,
    So give me all the blame
    And seal your own shame.




    short but sweet^_^

  2. #2
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility
    Posts
    585
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Re: Untitled

    This is a short poem! If you just starting out if I may offer a little advice just. Try writing about things that inspire you, or have happened in life, people seem to respond better, just a thought. If you want to you can look at my poem called regretful! But other than that just keep writing and I'm sure you will be well on you way to become a great writer!

  3. #3
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Somewhere in SD.
    Posts
    2,596
    Thanks
    17
    Thanked 24 Times in 23 Posts

    Re: Untitled

    try not to make it into rhytem kind, for example it doesn't sound forced, or anything though its good, so keep it up like but a little different you know what mean right?

  4. #4
    Otaku Angel_in_hell is off to a good start
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Cali
    Posts
    164
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Untitled

    C'mon, sweet misery;
    Show me darkness and fury.
    I need the rain
    And I want the pain,
    So give me all the blame
    And seal your own shame
    i like it! it describes alot of ppl and how they feel! and you did alot better then what i would have done!

    IN THE END IT DOSENT EVEN MATTER

  5. #5
    Otaku god of death may be famous one day god of death may be famous one day god of death's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    brimstone graveyard
    Posts
    156
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Untitled

    short and sweet, a little longer and they might stop complaining, however to me its how you write and its your style, just keep it up. ill be watching!
    I am the God Of Death, Reaper of the souls, hunter of the darkness......
    http://z13.invisionfree.com/Deaths_doorway/index.php
    this is my site come and see me there sometime!

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Untitled
    By Shu in forum Poems
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: Nov 10, 2006, 07:14 AM
  2. Untitled
    By BlueFox1 in forum Library
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: Nov 08, 2006, 01:53 PM
  3. Untitled
    By BlueFox1 in forum Poems
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: Oct 31, 2006, 09:17 AM
  4. Untitled
    By Violent in forum Poems
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: Sep 24, 2006, 03:21 PM
  5. Untitled
    By ConradGuravitch103 in forum Poems
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: Sep 10, 2006, 07:39 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts