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Thread: Untitled

  1. #1
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Untitled

    Vanished...

    Completely dissapeared without a trace.
    Where did you go? I don't see your smiling face.

    Silent...

    It's so quiet here.
    Are you hiding in the leaves?
    Or are you hiding out of fear?

    Blank...

    Is the expression on my face.
    Because I don't know what is
    goin' on in your head these days.

    Confused...

    What the hell's goin' on?
    Last time I checked, you were
    fine and nothing had went wrong.

    Anxiety...

    Yup, it starts to set in.
    Is this the "silent treatment",
    Or am I just trippin'?


    **I'm not too happy with this one. I figured I'd post it to see what everyone else thinks. But I feel there's no closure. Maybe I'll come back and edit it later**


  2. #2
    Newbie NekoGirlMaya is off to a good start
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    Re: Untitled

    nyah!!! its awesome! i love poetry. i wanna be a poet when i get older ^^ you're great! hehe i wish i could write this well

  3. #3
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Untitled

    This made shivers run down my spine... In a good way... the starting is won-der-ful!!!! I enjoyed it so much... won-der-ful!!!! Made my imagination work too...

    But the ending spoiled it a lill bit... "What the hell's goin' on?" spoiled the dreamy aura, and the last stranza too was in a different mood... Maybe you should edit it a lill bit because then it would make a perfect poem!!!

    But all together it was just fine... I enjoyed reading it and am waiting forward to something more!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Banned CTD High Jump Champion, Cop-For-This Champion, Soap Bubble Champion, Gandys Quest Champion, Kill Time in Your Office Champion, Slow Motion Champion, Moodys Magical Eye Champion, The Fridge Champion, Dangerous Fishing Champion, Panda Golf 2: Christmas Edition Champion, Driving Mad Champion, Head to Head Champion, Super Headers Champion, Penguin Arcade Champion, Chopper Challenge Champion, Air Dodge Champion, Chopper Chase Champion, F/A-18 Hornet Champion, Snow Boarding Champion, Spaceman Bob`s Great Escape Champion, Space Cowboy Champion, Rons Free Fall Champion, Gandys Quest Champion, Black Dragon Champion, Samegame and Champion, Mayan Mask Champion, 42 Games Champion, Cubedelic Champion, Smaugs Schatkist Champion, Python Champion, Thor Towers Champion Mini Dev is off to a good start
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    Re: Untitled

    Woah nice poem i don't know what to write... Absoultly amazing i mean i wouldnt write but i must tell you i would pay to read that great job i loved it and don't let anyone put you off 5/5 exclent

  5. #5
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: Untitled

    Quote Originally Posted by NekoGirlMaya View Post
    nyah!!! its awesome! i love poetry. i wanna be a poet when i get older ^^ you're great! hehe i wish i could write this well
    Practive makes perfect; fall seven times and stand up eight. Try hard enough and you will. ^_^

    Quote Originally Posted by Lasura View Post
    This made shivers run down my spine... In a good way... the starting is won-der-ful!!!! I enjoyed it so much... won-der-ful!!!! Made my imagination work too...

    But the ending spoiled it a lill bit... "What the hell's goin' on?" spoiled the dreamy aura, and the last stranza too was in a different mood... Maybe you should edit it a lill bit because then it would make a perfect poem!!!

    But all together it was just fine... I enjoyed reading it and am waiting forward to something more!
    Yeah, towards the end is where I started to drift away from what I was originally writing. A small case of writer's block, if you will.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mini Dev View Post
    Woah nice poem i don't know what to write... Absoultly amazing i mean i wouldnt write but i must tell you i would pay to read that great job i loved it and don't let anyone put you off 5/5 exclent
    Thanks! ^_^ I'm glad that all of you liked it so much. I wasn't expecting such great reviews. I appreciate all of your comments!


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