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Thread: Untitled

  1. #1
    Newbie evil_neko_youkai may be famous one day evil_neko_youkai may be famous one day
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    Untitled

    You say you'll be back for me,
    But when will you come?
    I count the days and still no word
    Waiting for the day we'll be together
    Sadly, I wait for the impossible
    Being with you is nothing but a dream
    If only the heartbreak wasn't a reality

    The game you played was a cruel one
    I still remember the pain I felt
    Crying over you
    Now I realize
    You weren't worth any of it
    My tears, sorrow, or pain

    Better now than never to learn
    At least I took time to think,
    About what I want and need
    Now I know
    You're neither


    i haven't written in a while so it might be terrible
    please tell me what you think

  2. #2
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: Untitled

    I didnt think it was terrible. Infact, I liked the feeling in it, its something so many people go through. I esspecially like where you say "Being with you is nothing but a dream
    If only the heartbreak wasn't a reality."

    Man... so true.
    ... Not Ever Again...

  3. #3
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: Untitled

    WOWZERS! Go-go gadget writing skills! LOL. ^_^

    You did good with this one! Why you thought it was terrible is beyond me. I like this poem a lot. I don't think I can find a single thing wrong with this one. You hit a real subject and you hit it HARD! It's sadly what most people need to realize about love and relataionships, but never do until it's too late. Mad props! To this poem, I say, "Kudos!" ^_^


  4. #4
    Newbie evil_neko_youkai may be famous one day evil_neko_youkai may be famous one day
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    Re: Untitled

    Thanks everyone I'm glad you both liked it!! I thought it sucked at the moment because I hadnt' written anything in a while at that time.

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    Re: Untitled

    Quote Originally Posted by evil_neko_youkai View Post
    You say you'll be back for me,
    But when will you come?
    I count the days and still no word
    Waiting for the day we'll be together
    Sadly, I wait for the impossible
    Being with you is nothing but a dream
    If only the heartbreak wasn't a reality

    The game you played was a cruel one
    I still remember the pain I felt
    Crying over you
    Now I realize
    You weren't worth any of it
    My tears, sorrow, or pain

    Better now than never to learn
    At least I took time to think,
    About what I want and need
    Now I know
    You're neither


    i haven't written in a while so it might be terrible
    please tell me what you think
    How incredibly tragic, and so true. Guys aren't worth it. Trust me. Keep up the amazing work.

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