~Untitled~ - Page 2

*divine_punishment* · Sep 16, 2007, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peach_follows

I dont think it seems stalkerish. I found there to be quite a statement in it.

I'm going to sudgest something, but I do so humbly. To me you are a superior writer.

The part where you wrote "I’ve been shielding you." stood out quite a bit to me... It was the first point in the poem where I felt like you were taking the responsibilty for easing this persons hardships.

It made me go back to the last lines of the first two stanzas.
"You’re just standing in the shade." "You’re asleep in class."... I thought about them being written as "You're just standing in my shade" and "You're asleep in my class"

See what I mean?...

Anyway, just a thought... the poem is outstanding either way.

I do see what you mean . . . . Well, I kind of wanted a poem that made you read it twice, you know? I wanted my message to get across. Thank you all for your high praise. I am truly humbled.

!Mini Dev · Sep 16, 2007, 01:15 PM

very spine chilling keep it up im scared now...arrgh! 2"wheres the light switch"

*divine_punishment* · Sep 16, 2007, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mini Dev

very spine chilling keep it up im scared now...arrgh! 2"wheres the light switch"

You know . . . . I really didn't mean it to be creepy . . .

I guess I'm just naturally frightening . . .

I guess there's a fine line between being sweet and being scary . . .

Wolf_of_the_North · Sep 18, 2007, 08:32 PM

Loverly simply loverly!!! I enjoyed it very much! Very well-written. Truly insightful. Hooray!!!

*fireandice* · Sep 18, 2007, 09:15 PM

Yes it is a vey thoughtful poem. Well written. But very few people have someone like that to watch over them. But I liked the consepted of it.

tora_tora_yatta · Sep 19, 2007, 06:23 AM

That was a wonderful poem...keep up the good work and I can't wait to hear more...(I had the time to go and read your poem so haha I am not that overwhelmed with things

)

*divine_punishment* · Sep 19, 2007, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tora_tora_yatta

That was a wonderful poem...keep up the good work and I can't wait to hear more...(I had the time to go and read your poem so haha I am not that overwhelmed with things

)

Yay for poetry! If anyone has any recommendations or topics they would like me to address next, I would be more than happy to hear them.

evil_neko_youkai · Sep 19, 2007, 05:16 PM

I really like this... It sounds like you're talking to a friend and letting them know that you'll be there for them... through thick and thin.... I LOVE IT!!!

Sep 16, 2007, 01:15 PM	#10 (permalink)
!Mini Dev Banned Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,117 Thanks: 41 Thanked 25 Times in 25 Posts	Re: ~Untitled~ very spine chilling keep it up im scared now...arrgh! 2"wheres the light switch"
Status: Offline

Sep 18, 2007, 08:32 PM	#12 (permalink)
Wolf_of_the_North Otaku Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Just a hopscotch away from Never Never Land... Posts: 112 Thanks: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	Re: ~Untitled~ Loverly simply loverly!!! I enjoyed it very much! Very well-written. Truly insightful. Hooray!!! __________________ DEMON SPAWN IS AWESOME!!!!! XP
Status: Offline

Sep 18, 2007, 09:15 PM	#13 (permalink)
fireandice ~always by your side~ Join Date: May 2007 Location: small little hick town Posts: 521 Thanks: 19 Thanked 18 Times in 18 Posts	Re: ~Untitled~ Yes it is a vey thoughtful poem. Well written. But very few people have someone like that to watch over them. But I liked the consepted of it.
Status: Offline

Sep 19, 2007, 06:23 AM	#14 (permalink)
tora_tora_yatta Otaku Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: In the arms of my loved one! Posts: 124 Thanks: 2 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts	Re: ~Untitled~ That was a wonderful poem...keep up the good work and I can't wait to hear more...(I had the time to go and read your poem so haha I am not that overwhelmed with things ) __________________ Made by mi amigo Mveli2
Status: Offline

Sep 19, 2007, 05:16 PM	#16 (permalink)
evil_neko_youkai Newbie Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: somewhere making the lives of others hell Posts: 99 Thanks: 1 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: ~Untitled~ I really like this... It sounds like you're talking to a friend and letting them know that you'll be there for them... through thick and thin.... I LOVE IT!!! __________________
Status: Offline

Welcome to AnimeOnline.net, your personal Anime Community!	Anime Online Rulez!

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Untitled	evil_neko_youkai	Poems	4	Sep 19, 2007 05:11 PM
Untitled	BlueFox1	Library	2	Nov 08, 2006 01:53 PM
Untitled	BlueFox1	Poems	4	Oct 31, 2006 09:17 AM
Untitled	Violent	Poems	11	Sep 24, 2006 04:21 PM
Untitled	wangwang	Poems	0	Sep 15, 2006 07:53 AM