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Thread: ~Untitled~

  1. #9
    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    Re: ~Untitled~

    Quote Originally Posted by Peach_follows View Post
    I dont think it seems stalkerish. I found there to be quite a statement in it.

    I'm going to sudgest something, but I do so humbly. To me you are a superior writer.

    The part where you wrote "I’ve been shielding you." stood out quite a bit to me... It was the first point in the poem where I felt like you were taking the responsibilty for easing this persons hardships.

    It made me go back to the last lines of the first two stanzas.
    "You’re just standing in the shade." "You’re asleep in class."... I thought about them being written as "You're just standing in my shade" and "You're asleep in my class"

    See what I mean?...

    Anyway, just a thought... the poem is outstanding either way.
    I do see what you mean . . . . Well, I kind of wanted a poem that made you read it twice, you know? I wanted my message to get across. Thank you all for your high praise. I am truly humbled.

  2. #10
    Banned CTD High Jump Champion, Cop-For-This Champion, Soap Bubble Champion, Gandys Quest Champion, Kill Time in Your Office Champion, Slow Motion Champion, Moodys Magical Eye Champion, The Fridge Champion, Dangerous Fishing Champion, Panda Golf 2: Christmas Edition Champion, Driving Mad Champion, Head to Head Champion, Super Headers Champion, Penguin Arcade Champion, Chopper Challenge Champion, Air Dodge Champion, Chopper Chase Champion, F/A-18 Hornet Champion, Snow Boarding Champion, Spaceman Bob`s Great Escape Champion, Space Cowboy Champion, Rons Free Fall Champion, Gandys Quest Champion, Black Dragon Champion, Samegame and Champion, Mayan Mask Champion, 42 Games Champion, Cubedelic Champion, Smaugs Schatkist Champion, Python Champion, Thor Towers Champion Mini Dev is off to a good start
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    Re: ~Untitled~

    very spine chilling keep it up im scared now...arrgh! 2"wheres the light switch"

  3. #11
    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    Re: ~Untitled~

    Quote Originally Posted by Mini Dev View Post
    very spine chilling keep it up im scared now...arrgh! 2"wheres the light switch"
    You know . . . . I really didn't mean it to be creepy . . . I guess I'm just naturally frightening . . .

    I guess there's a fine line between being sweet and being scary . . .
    Last edited by divine_punishment; Sep 18, 2007 at 02:06 PM.

  4. #12
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    Re: ~Untitled~

    Loverly simply loverly!!! I enjoyed it very much! Very well-written. Truly insightful. Hooray!!!

    DEMON SPAWN IS AWESOME!!!!! XP

  5. #13
    ~always by your side~ Radarix Champion, Virus 2 Champion, Virus 3 Champion fireandice is off to a good start fireandice's Avatar
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    Re: ~Untitled~

    Yes it is a vey thoughtful poem. Well written. But very few people have someone like that to watch over them. But I liked the consepted of it.

  6. #14
    Otaku Gold Miner: Second Edition Champion tora_tora_yatta may be famous one day tora_tora_yatta may be famous one day
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    Re: ~Untitled~

    That was a wonderful poem...keep up the good work and I can't wait to hear more...(I had the time to go and read your poem so haha I am not that overwhelmed with things )

    Made by mi amigo Mveli2

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    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    Re: ~Untitled~

    Quote Originally Posted by tora_tora_yatta View Post
    That was a wonderful poem...keep up the good work and I can't wait to hear more...(I had the time to go and read your poem so haha I am not that overwhelmed with things )
    Yay for poetry! If anyone has any recommendations or topics they would like me to address next, I would be more than happy to hear them.

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    Newbie evil_neko_youkai may be famous one day evil_neko_youkai may be famous one day
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    Re: ~Untitled~

    I really like this... It sounds like you're talking to a friend and letting them know that you'll be there for them... through thick and thin.... I LOVE IT!!!

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