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Thread: Untitled

  1. #1
    Otaku BrokenLover101 is off to a good start BrokenLover101's Avatar
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    Nov 2007
    Somewhere where only simplicity can take me
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    It doesn’t matter if you believe me
    But I have feelings for you
    They are indescribable ones
    That are stronger than life

    It won’t end the same way
    It will be different
    Because I hope/know
    That we’ll be together someday

    To trust me
    Is something that hopefully will happen
    I can’t tell you why you should
    Except that I love you and wish you could

    I won’t ever, nor have I ever
    Judged you because you were different
    I love you the way you are
    Flaws and all

    Which means
    I’ll put up with you
    Each and every day
    And never get in your way

    I don’t know if you really listened
    And I don’t really care
    I only have one thing left to say
    And that’s I’ll always be there
    X.x.X The only thing I'll ever want... X.x.X

    X.x.X Is for you to love me the way I love you.. X.x.X

  2. #2
    ~always by your side~ Radarix Champion, Virus 2 Champion, Virus 3 Champion fireandice is off to a good start fireandice's Avatar
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    small little hick town
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    Re: Untitled

    Quote Originally Posted by BrokenLover101 View Post
    It won’t end the same way
    It will be different
    Because I hope/know
    That we’ll be together someday
    This part of the poem dosen't seem to fit with the rest of it. It has a good flow to it, and seems to all be set in the present tense, except for this stanza. If you take it out, it still sounds and flows nicely. You still get your point across quite well. Over all I liked it, it show lots of feelings and was well worded.

  3. #3
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: Untitled

    I agree with Fireandice on that stanza but it is a really deep poem as always brokenlover and I hope to see more from you.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

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