Untitled

BrokenLover101 · Dec 01, 2007, 07:08 PM

><><Untitled><><

When I first arrived here
You were the first one who cared
The one who was always there
When I needed you

We’ve been together
For what seems like forever

There are a few things
That I need to say

I couldn’t care less
If you believe me
But do know one thing
I am and forever will be “Your Angel”

You don’t know how much I feel for you
The feelings are too complex to explain
They are the indescribable ones
That are stronger than life

I know you’ve been hurt before
But it will be different, it won’t end the same way
Because, even if you don’t, I hope and know
That we will be together someday

I can’t explain to you why you should trust me
And I have no desire to
All I can tell you is
I really and truly do love you

I don’t judge you because your different
And no matter what my parents think
You are the one I want to be with
For the rest of my life

I love you the way you are
Flaws and all

Which means I’ll put up with you
Each and every day

Color has no meaning to me
Race doesn’t either
Just know that, in my eyes,
You are everything

Your perfect in every way
You’re the one I think about every day
The one I stay up to talk to
Wait for each day

I love you
And nothing could ever change that
Now if only I could get you
To believe that too

necro606 · Dec 01, 2007, 07:39 PM

very beutiful! I like the fealing that went into it and it is verry moving!!!!!!

iluvmyloser · Dec 01, 2007, 07:48 PM

that touched me broken lover. It really did. Good job on this.I love the flow, bit off the rhyming but a good work i have seen^-^

♥~*The Princess*~♥

Ichigo_06 · Dec 06, 2007, 07:25 AM

I agree with both necro and iluvmyloser the flow is nice, the poem is beutifull, and I must say even though in the second, third, ninth, and tenth stanzas there is fewer lines ( suggestion: combine the second with the third, and the ninth with the tenth) it still flows rather nicely. keep it up broken lover.

SnoReaper · Dec 06, 2007, 11:05 AM

very movin!!!!!!!!
touched me deep down inside!!!
you really have a skill!!!!

Dec 01, 2007, 07:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
BrokenLover101 Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Hell... wanna join? Posts: 262 Thanks: 36 Thanked 26 Times in 25 Posts Credits: 12,324	Untitled ><><Untitled><>< When I first arrived here You were the first one who cared The one who was always there When I needed you We’ve been together For what seems like forever There are a few things That I need to say I couldn’t care less If you believe me But do know one thing I am and forever will be “Your Angel” You don’t know how much I feel for you The feelings are too complex to explain They are the indescribable ones That are stronger than life I know you’ve been hurt before But it will be different, it won’t end the same way Because, even if you don’t, I hope and know That we will be together someday I can’t explain to you why you should trust me And I have no desire to All I can tell you is I really and truly do love you I don’t judge you because your different And no matter what my parents think You are the one I want to be with For the rest of my life I love you the way you are Flaws and all Which means I’ll put up with you Each and every day Color has no meaning to me Race doesn’t either Just know that, in my eyes, You are everything Your perfect in every way You’re the one I think about every day The one I stay up to talk to Wait for each day I love you And nothing could ever change that Now if only I could get you To believe that too __________________ *\\\ Never Love Again ///*
Status: Offline

Dec 01, 2007, 07:39 PM	#2 (permalink)
necro606 Newbie Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 10 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 562	Re: Untitled very beutiful! I like the fealing that went into it and it is verry moving!!!!!! __________________ Darkness prevails at the end!!!!
Status: Offline

Dec 01, 2007, 07:48 PM	#3 (permalink)
iluvmyloser Àddïctëd tø \|ăüghïñg :) Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: ♥>>WHERE y0U WANNA bE??<<♥ Posts: 653 Thanks: 26 Thanked 15 Times in 14 Posts Credits: 10,607	Re: Untitled that touched me broken lover. It really did. Good job on this.I love the flow, bit off the rhyming but a good work i have seen^-^ ♥~The Princess~♥ __________________ ♥~Thanks Eve for this on my Bday!Bow down to your royal highness~♥ Animal Wonders\|Myyy Spaceee!
Status: Offline

Dec 06, 2007, 07:25 AM	#4 (permalink)
Ichigo_06 Dragonrider Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: On the back of my dragon escaping everything and ignoring the pain. Posts: 611 Thanks: 15 Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts Credits: 4,744	Re: Untitled I agree with both necro and iluvmyloser the flow is nice, the poem is beutifull, and I must say even though in the second, third, ninth, and tenth stanzas there is fewer lines ( suggestion: combine the second with the third, and the ninth with the tenth) it still flows rather nicely. keep it up broken lover. __________________ ナサンフォオツド Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever! Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173
Status: Offline

Dec 06, 2007, 11:05 AM	#5 (permalink)
SnoReaper Newbie Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 26 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 842	Re: Untitled very movin!!!!!!!! touched me deep down inside!!! you really have a skill!!!!
Status: Offline

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