Great rhyming lines. I thought it was very good that you used "thee" to express a subtle usage of archaic style of writing. Although it wasn't that long, it's the message it conveys that counts.![]()
You are my rose now scatterd in my heart
forever lost my cherished love hidden as we part
I danced away and you could not follow
and in your tears I now do I wallow
The Serpent pearced you and then me
and silver crystals never again to fall for thee
Now you can never truly know my love
and my heart is pure white like an icy dove
Driven to madness I will be soon
as you my flower never again will bloom
Kay i rhymed that one cause i could.... is it ok?
Im drained right now... I'll post some more later
Last edited by gren; Aug 30, 2008 at 07:37 AM.
A lively flower bloomed and I grew with it, Its colours were bright and true and I fell in love, One day it wilted and now its gone I die a little more each day
Great rhyming lines. I thought it was very good that you used "thee" to express a subtle usage of archaic style of writing. Although it wasn't that long, it's the message it conveys that counts.![]()
Wow you really think so?^_^ I know I could have done better but thanks so much for reading it and stuff, do you write poems? anyway thanks a heap ^.^
A lively flower bloomed and I grew with it, Its colours were bright and true and I fell in love, One day it wilted and now its gone I die a little more each day
This one is about the same thing and sort of a continuation only not ^.^
You are a wild flower's lively bloom
And my lost rose scatterd in my heart
Forever gone my cherished love
My hope is crushed in the broken dark
When you left my soul grew still
My joy and laughter gone and spent
Your wilting heart calls me close
Yet still I search for what you meant
Crystals fall from a trail of silver
and hide where you I once could hold
I clutch my heart now pale and empty
In a lost hope to be consoled
The shadow of dark, now my ally
You flew from here you canot return
Yet still my heart prays for your warm love
As I long for you, my only yearn
A lively flower bloomed and I grew with it, Its colours were bright and true and I fell in love, One day it wilted and now its gone I die a little more each day
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