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Thread: Untitled

  1. #1
    Legendary Otaku Happy Pill Champion, Monkey Mayhem Champion NeoDeath90 may be famous one day NeoDeath90 may be famous one day NeoDeath90's Avatar
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    Untitled

    This poem is something of a rough draft. I intend to give it to the girl i love for our one year next month.

    My dearest love, my brightest flame
    We both know time is a tiring game

    We've both endured, we've both grown strong
    And i feel that with you is where i belong

    My icy heart melts when i hear your sweet voice
    I feel my whole body begin to rejoice

    Your smile is sunshine, your laughter the rain
    Your kisses like heaven, that relieve all my pain

    My twisted face smiles when i feel you are near
    And i feel your embrace, your warm breath on my ear

    My whole world, my darling, my lovely, my sweet
    You are the person that makes me complete

    What more can i say, what more can i do
    Than kiss your soft lips, and say "i love you"

    I love you, Lauren, with all my heart and from the bottom of my soul
    ~David
    Last edited by NeoDeath90; Sep 12, 2008 at 08:10 AM. Reason: revising my word choice
    Why hello there!

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    Newbie Kuinta is off to a good start
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    Re: Untitled

    Not too shabby. I thought it was very good. I definitely think your girlfriend will enjoy reading your poem. It's very well-spoken and conveys a lot of your thoughts on how close you are in your relationship. The content itself shows how much work you put into it. Good luck.

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    Fallen Angel PhoenixSara may be famous one day PhoenixSara's Avatar
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    Re: Untitled

    This is another excellent poem: this line reminds me of a movie :

    You are the person that makes me complete
    "In your arms is where i will be, I love you till my forever ends."
    Clan Rainstorm 2nd Company, Kunoichi Leader
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    Legendary Otaku Happy Pill Champion, Monkey Mayhem Champion NeoDeath90 may be famous one day NeoDeath90 may be famous one day NeoDeath90's Avatar
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    Re: Untitled

    Quote Originally Posted by PhoenixSara View Post
    This is another excellent poem: this line reminds me of a movie :
    you had me at hello


    haha, yes, i was reffering to that crappy tom cruise movie, haha.
    Why hello there!

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    Otaku Heavenhanced may be famous one day Heavenhanced may be famous one day
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    Re: Untitled

    Quote Originally Posted by NeoDeath90 View Post
    This poem is something of a rough draft. I intend to give it to the girl i love for our one year next month.

    My dearest love, my brightest flame
    We both know time is a tiring game

    We've both endured, we've both grown strong
    And i feel that with you is where i belong

    My icy heart melts when i hear your sweet voice
    I feel my whole body begin to rejoice

    Your smile is sunshine, your laughter the rain
    Your kisses like heaven, that relieve all my pain

    My twisted face smiles when i feel you are near
    And i feel your embrace, your warm breath on my ear

    My whole world, my darling, my lovely, my sweet
    You are the person that makes me complete

    What more can i say, what more can i do
    Than kiss your soft lips, and say "i love you"

    I love you, Lauren, with all my heart and from the bottom of my soul
    ~David
    So beautiful. Keep up the good feelings. Maybe, I use your poem for some of my school's works.

  7. #6
    Legendary Otaku Happy Pill Champion, Monkey Mayhem Champion NeoDeath90 may be famous one day NeoDeath90 may be famous one day NeoDeath90's Avatar
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    Re: Untitled

    Quote Originally Posted by Heavenhanced View Post
    So beautiful. Keep up the good feelings. Maybe, I use your poem for some of my school's works.
    be sure you give me credit for them, because no one likes their works plagerized
    Why hello there!

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