Thread: untitled

ok first it was very hard to read. second you kinda lost my interest because it wasnt written correctly may be you should break it up like this:

as life passes me bye
i ask why,I alone wonder why, I ask for one, I ask for only one
I dont know why

Many take more use them like toys
then just tosses them aside. I ask for the one.the one I will charish the one I need!
why I ask. the sorrow is so painful.

they say i will find one but the one i found chooses
to be the toy I ask agen
why I am the only one that wonders
why the sorrow bilds up
they just dont see
why I wish they could see me . . .

if you write it like that you see its more easier to read and the you can connect your poetry better to the reader.

I liked it. The title captured the prose. I agree that is should probably have been broken up a bit though.