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Thread: Untitled(Of Eyes)

  1. #1
    super effective Last Man Standing Champion FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd's Avatar
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    Untitled(Of Eyes)

    The convictions of a thousand scowling goblins haunt her footsteps
    A sturdy grasp of absolute conformity holds vigilantly to her psyche
    Tremendously shrill cries hang loosely on her ears but never seem to fall
    Yet she still smiles and forces her eyes to shine in the face of others

    Alone in the pensive silence of her bland apartment all the ghosts come out
    They slink out of the pooling shadows in the corners of her bedroom and stare
    Eyes of brilliant yellow and of murky brown poke out from the walls
    When they descend back into their veils, they leave still the torment they brought

    The voices that wail into her ears fall away when the eyes come
    They become the chanting that holds the walls together and that creates the illusions
    Writings of horror and of romance sometimes form in the air floating in her room
    Scorching the air with fires so hot they leave their letters behind even after they leave

    A preternatural overlord oversees the girls torture and laughs when she cries
    Commanding the chants to become louder and the eyes more numerable
    Her guardian angels slain by the ghastly swords wielded by the demon
    For her, there is no future or past only the presence of torturous hell spawns

    Scratching at the tender wounds the world cannot see, the unmarked marks
    Wounds bred from the on looking eyes of fanatical parents, calling the overlord
    Preaching that the girl is paying penance for sins she had not committed
    An absolution of hundreds of rainy nights and mutated bodies

    Her only choice was to fall away from the vile confinement of body
    To break then ties that constricted around her soul and latched it to fetid flesh
    Opening the vault of senses beyond human understanding and thought
    Revealing a world that is blank, a world totally of her making and desire

    She didn’t want to live with the eyes always watching her and ridiculing her
    All the wailing and crying in her ears made it so she wanted to let go
    She wanted to walk right up to the sadist overlord who hurt and hurt him back
    Hurt him badly; leave him begging for mercy that she would never show him

    All the minions of hell looking on in gruesome terror yet rapt pleasure
    With each lash she would hit him with the audience would moan louder
    When the last and final blow was struck they would reach their demented climax
    And then she would be left as the victor, the new ruler of the eyes and chanting

    But she had not the courage or the strength to oppose her figurative owner
    Thick droplets of rain beat down on her windows, shaping out faces and more eyes
    Shapeless globes if rejected bodies clawed out from the puddles of dark in her walls
    They marched to her and rose her up from her corrupt existence

    The world that she once saw and held in her hands momentarily stood before
    Then everything went dull and gray and all the pain and misuse fell from her
    Shackles that were bonded to her wrists crumbled as they were burnt out ashes
    All the troubles of the world fell from her leaving only tainted rapture

    But on the outside none of this was happening or had ever happened
    She was just deluding herself of demons and eyes in the walls that sang
    The rain never touched the window because the clouds were never hanging in the sky
    And turned down applicants for life had never stole her away to a fake world

    People looked at her with pity and sometimes with eyes filled with fear of her
    No one could see the realness of her blood thirsty demons and eyes
    On the outside she was a nutcase, a cause of sympathy and terror
    But on the inside she died before anyone could save her.

    ---
    Man, twelve stanzas?

    Enjoy everybody and if there are error, tell me of them please.
    the love you withhold is the pain you carry.

  2. #2
    Heavy Metal Goddess CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18's Avatar
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    Re: Untitled(Of Eyes)

    That was a very dark story. It would make a great script for a horror movie. I could actually imagine everything that was happening as I read it. Great job and I look forward to reading your next one.
    "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
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    Thanks so much I love it!

  3. #3
    Otaku venelse may be famous one day venelse may be famous one day
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    Re: Untitled(Of Eyes)

    it's nice but for a poem to be so long doesn't really capture my liking sorry...

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