!beast (Nov 14, 2009)
Looking through blackened eyes,
The world passes by without a care,
In pain yet glad,
For I know I am alive.
This world wishes for peace,
But war still rages on,
An endless sea of blood,
A river of corpses.
Voices of crying children,
Echo through the night,
As gun shots are heard.
Last edited by Forgotten soul; Nov 15, 2009 at 12:22 AM.
this doesn't feel comeplete.. you should merge the first two stanza's and keep going on after the thrid stanza.
though i like where this is going ;P
the love you withhold is the pain you carry.
You don't waist a line. Your poems are very consistent. The sea of blood is vivid but I woud have liked to have seen it develop more.
Thank you for your comments on this poem,
I wanted to add more but after the third stanza
I got a writters block.