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Thread: Useless creation

  1. Mar 21, 2007 02:20 AM #1
    !Rave_Grip
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    Useless creation

    *Warning - some swear words here*

    The same old girl who used to be so…
    “Pure, like an angel” I always thought
    My love, my hope and my life I pondered
    But not the cherub you turned out to be

    Deceived by your traits, coating my heart with your lies
    I don’t know what you’re expecting of me
    By walking in your shoes
    I became so numb, a mess

    You stench of rotten meat
    Your essence acidic enough to burn the hardest of hearts
    Your presence ominous enough to bring hellish thunder in my mind
    Yet you continued your lame-ass drama

    I dislike your personality
    I hate the way you lust for power and desire
    I really disgust the way you use people heart as football
    I detest you truly.

    I don’t care how lame and pathetic your past was
    I don’t give a damn if you are getting back the people you wrecked
    I don’t take a shit for your reaction
    Nor do I mind about your sorry ass life

    I’ll give you this warning
    Hurt my friend like you hurt others
    And I’ll make you wish that you were dead
    When you had the bloody chance
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  2. Mar 21, 2007 02:22 AM #2
    Kasai
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    Re: Useless creation

    Wow. Excellent, loving the flow.. use of vivid imagery. Well done, Rave, well done.
    Seduced by Flesh

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  3. Mar 21, 2007 03:02 AM #3
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    Re: Useless creation

    Gee, thanks Kasai. I got a better response than I thought I'd get ^_^
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  4. Mar 21, 2007 03:08 AM #4
    Kasai
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    Re: Useless creation

    I give good comments when they are well deserved. As well as negative.
    Seduced by Flesh

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  5. Mar 21, 2007 03:12 AM #5
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    Re: Useless creation

    Yeah, understood. It's kinda strange you didn't point out my punctuation, I did it in a hurry.
    Anyway, thanks still ^_^
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  6. Mar 21, 2007 03:15 AM #6
    RayMe
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    Re: Useless creation

    gotta agree with kasai there ^^ vivid...
    but not my kind of poem hehe i don't like being like that... sheesh...
    bad,...

    Err is there any person like that Rave? my my...
    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
    >>>facebook<<<

    My Siggy is in progress... just you wait... :3
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  7. Mar 21, 2007 03:17 AM #7
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    Re: Useless creation

    Yes it is based on a person, imaginary or else. Glad you liked it, thank you
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  8. Mar 21, 2007 11:24 AM #8
    Kasai
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    Re: Useless creation

    You mean the fact that you didnt use periods? They werent needed to give me an idea of your tone and purpose. xD I only mention stuff like that.. if it would truly help the wreck of a poem I'm reading.
    Seduced by Flesh

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