Rave_Grip

*Warning - some swear words here*

The same old girl who used to be so…
“Pure, like an angel” I always thought
My love, my hope and my life I pondered
But not the cherub you turned out to be

Deceived by your traits, coating my heart with your lies
I don’t know what you’re expecting of me
By walking in your shoes
I became so numb, a mess

You stench of rotten meat
Your essence acidic enough to burn the hardest of hearts
Your presence ominous enough to bring hellish thunder in my mind
Yet you continued your lame-ass drama

I dislike your personality
I hate the way you lust for power and desire
I really disgust the way you use people heart as football
I detest you truly.

I don’t care how lame and pathetic your past was
I don’t give a damn if you are getting back the people you wrecked
I don’t take a shit for your reaction
Nor do I mind about your sorry ass life

I’ll give you this warning
Hurt my friend like you hurt others
And I’ll make you wish that you were dead
When you had the bloody chance

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Wherever you see, there is always 98% of people who love something; and 2% that don't. I'm pretty sure that not ALL 98% of peeps don't support Lolita or anything. So if you agree, put it in your sig.
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Kasai

Wow. Excellent, loving the flow.. use of vivid imagery. Well done, Rave, well done.

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Rave_Grip

Gee, thanks Kasai. I got a better response than I thought I'd get ^_^

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Wherever you see, there is always 98% of people who love something; and 2% that don't. I'm pretty sure that not ALL 98% of peeps don't support Lolita or anything. So if you agree, put it in your sig.
| .:~My AO Gallery~:. | | .:~The AO Rules~:. |

Kasai

I give good comments when they are well deserved. As well as negative.

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Rave_Grip

Yeah, understood. It's kinda strange you didn't point out my punctuation, I did it in a hurry.
Anyway, thanks still ^_^

__________________

Wherever you see, there is always 98% of people who love something; and 2% that don't. I'm pretty sure that not ALL 98% of peeps don't support Lolita or anything. So if you agree, put it in your sig.
| .:~My AO Gallery~:. | | .:~The AO Rules~:. |

RayMe

gotta agree with kasai there ^^ vivid...
but not my kind of poem hehe i don't like being like that... sheesh...
bad,...

Err is there any person like that Rave? my my...

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Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
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Rave_Grip

Yes it is based on a person, imaginary or else. Glad you liked it, thank you

__________________

Wherever you see, there is always 98% of people who love something; and 2% that don't. I'm pretty sure that not ALL 98% of peeps don't support Lolita or anything. So if you agree, put it in your sig.
| .:~My AO Gallery~:. | | .:~The AO Rules~:. |

Kasai

You mean the fact that you didnt use periods? They werent needed to give me an idea of your tone and purpose. xD I only mention stuff like that.. if it would truly help the wreck of a poem I'm reading.

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eleonne

I agree with the comments of others, so I won't repeat what they already said. I'll just add this - After I read your poem, I reread it again, searching for the reason of your title. I couldn't find it. Perhaps I just missed something...? Anyways, because of that, I think your poem content failed to give justice to the title you gave it, or vice versa. I was able to feel the angst of your words, and your imagery helped a lot to make me understand it, but the title is a mystery for me. Anyways, good job, my only complaint is that title. It was an interesting title, but I just couldn't see its relation to the content of your work.

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JefferyXie

Oooh..the poem is quite harsh.The swearing may be offensive,but it serves a good purpose for this poem due to the fact that you are trying to grab our attention.I like that.Other than that,i have nothing else to say.

Lotski

Very nie man! hahaha... serious huh?
a good defender for a friend..
I doubt it, your friend must be proud by these poem...

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Be d REASON for someone's happiness, NOT just part of it...
Be a PART of someone's sadness, but NOT d reason for it.