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Thread: Vengeance!

  1. #1
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    The sweetness of vengence is what
    drives the lonely on thinking that quinching
    that thirst will be so easy. The pain is so addicting
    driving you on never caring who might be hurt.

    Vegence is a dish best sevred cold , you die inside
    as the vengence becomes pleasure always wanting
    to feel the pain from others to make yourself feel

    Does it ever end as another life hurdles towards
    the black abyss of tragady , once is never enough
    if only the thirst for absolution wasnt so simple. To
    be so simple its complicated is what makes getting
    even so justified.

    Justifacation is what we seek but a bottomless pit
    of heart renching tears is all we get feeling the never
    ending need to be satisfied always looking for that one
    time that will end it ,quinching your thirst for that reckoning
    you want.
    everyone goes through a time where they think getting even
    is what makes things right and in some cases it does but there
    are those who cant get enough and keep doing things that
    they think are justified. inthe end its really in how you see
    vengence and how far you think you should go without
    thinking about those that you hurt out of blind rage not vengence.
    comments and suggestions are welcomed
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  2. #2
    Newbie K.A.David may be famous one day K.A.David may be famous one day K.A.David's Avatar
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    Re: Vengeance!

    good diction, but too much words and a lot of typographical errors (unless they're intended).Also, it needs improvement on enjambment.

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    HolderOfTheDarkChalice (Oct 03, 2008)

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