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Thread: Verge

  1. #1
    Otaku MuMu Champion Shade/K' Heart may be famous one day Shade/K' Heart may be famous one day Shade/K' Heart's Avatar
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    Verge

    Crashing is near...
    where my physical body,
    reaches it's full limit,
    and i collapse totally,
    to the ground below.

    my nerves gone....
    all my control in me,
    if fading to the point,
    to where only automated motions,
    are all that's left.

    my mind filled.....
    i hate every single moment,
    of my outcry,
    as i lay here on the floor,
    weeping out your name.

    my heart gone again...
    with every blow i take,
    a small piece of "him" die,
    leaving only a broken man,
    with nothing but shards............

    my soul is crushed....................................



    -White Rose-

    Far be it for me to be anything special, when the only special thing I desire with me, is the special person I share my gifts with.

  2. #2
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: Verge

    Hmmm.... This is interesting. I feel like I've read something like it before. And Im not so sure thats a good thing.

    This part, however....

    "my mind filled.....
    i hate every single moment,
    of my outcry,
    as i lay here on the floor,
    weeping out your name."

    That seemed to stand out to me. Maybe because out of everything you wrote... that was what I recognized the most. Reminds me of the low point in breakdown. When you cant keep your mind off of that someone or something that is ripping you apart.

    All in all... good poem... not too original... but good none the less.
    ... Not Ever Again...

  3. #3
    Otaku MuMu Champion Shade/K' Heart may be famous one day Shade/K' Heart may be famous one day Shade/K' Heart's Avatar
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    Re: Verge

    Well... when the pain is the same, originality is thrown out the window. I will continue to write new stuff... if I'm allowed to do so. Thank you for the comment however. -Rose-

    Far be it for me to be anything special, when the only special thing I desire with me, is the special person I share my gifts with.

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