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Thread: The waiting game.

  1. #1
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    The waiting game.

    I sit and I think and I ponder.
    Do you even wonder?
    Are you going to care?
    Will you even still be there?
    Pensive thoughts I try to pay no mind.
    But it simply isn't the kind.
    Of thought that lets it's self be ignored.
    It won't just not be there anymore.
    In fact all it will do is get bigger and bigger.
    And harder and harder to figure,
    Out what to do, because I'm so unsure of you.
    What you stand for and what you do.
    Right or left, the fork in the road goes.
    Which way to go, no one knows.
    Not even me, and how could that be?
    This is my life why can't I see?
    Which way to turn, and run,
    Or maybe it just shouldn't be done.
    Don't give the problem any real name.
    While we play the waiting game.

    (I hate...thinking something is going ot happen. Or wondering/hoping it will. So this is a muddled expression of that dumb frustration. I haven't written in a while and I'm exhausted from heat.)

  2. #2
    Commander Ham Chiefblackhammer is making a name for themselves Chiefblackhammer is making a name for themselves Chiefblackhammer is making a name for themselves Chiefblackhammer's Avatar
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    Re: The waiting game.

    Your meter seems off in places thus making the rhyme scheme seem forced, but the message spoke to me as I have written similar poems in the past like this one. Mine where more metaphorical in nature so I am sorry if this one is more real life Overall a nice poem, add stanza breaks and work on the flow some more


  3. #3
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: The waiting game.

    I didn't break it up cus I knew the rhyme scheme was a little off. I had it seperated in lines of two when I Wrote it. And it was a little forced. I was trying too hard I suppose but I was tired and needed to get it out! Thanks for the feedback, ALWAYS appriciated.

  4. #4
    Àddïctëd tø |ăüghïñg :) Sonny Sunshine Champion, Volcano Champion, Aquarium Sprengischen Champion, Spiderman Web of Words Champion, Look Alive Champion iluvmyloser is off to a good start iluvmyloser's Avatar
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    Re: The waiting game.

    wow i can almost feel the emotions you want to express very good work nice job bratling.i hope to see more.
    Yeah, Bye.

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