ok... i'm sitting here in afghanistan... waiting...
i try to be patient... and try not to lose it...
if there was anything i could do.... i've done it...
now all thats left to do is wait... is this how life is...
i dont know... it is for me... at least right now...
i guess it always has been... am i a patient person...
probably not as patient as most would think...
so why do i wait... is it because i have no choice...
or do i have a choice... i just wait for no reason...
can you tell me... can anyone tell me... i cant...
am i alone... i honestly dont know anymore...
i used to say no... i used to say "i have friends and family"...
now... i'm not even sure i have family... technically i do...
they're just never there when i need them... no support...
so who's going to be there when i fall... who'll catch me...
whats to stop me from hitting the bottom... or have i already hit...
without support in life... can you really live... or do you play it safe...
will i ever find the answers i'm looking for... will i ever acomplish my goals...
what if i fail... what if my whole world encorages me to try... and then they leave...
what will happen to me if all my motivation was taken away...
would i strive for better things... or would i give up on living...
i pray i never have to find out...
a stronger man would say he'd strive for better things...
does that make me weak... or does it just make me unsure...
can i wait for the end... or will i run to catch it... rather than it catch me...
am i patient enough to live my life to its purpose...
or will i act foolishly and try to rush fate...
we're all dying from the day we are born...
why wait... do i have the right to make that decision for others...
is what i do right...
does the person on the other end of my crosshair care if i'm clean shaven or not...
do they worry about where i'm from... or how mentaly stable i am...
could i be crazy... could something be wrong with me...
will i know in the end that its the end... can anyone know...
can i face death without fear... still the answers elude me...
do i want to find the answers... or am i grasping at thin air...
when will death come for me... should i be happy... can i afford to show feeling...
can i blink if not told to... will the world end if i'm not in shinned boots...
will everyone i love leave... will they leave without words...
will they leave when i need them most...
can i rely on others to help me through struggles... i'd like to think i can...
can i think for myself though... am i mentally able...
was i thinking in my right mind when i signed that contract... that 8 year deal...
that deal that could be eternity... could i be crazy... confused mabey... perhaps i'm just lost...
trapped here in my mind... playing the only game i have left to me...
the only game the world can't take away...
the only game death will always win...
the waiting game.