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Thread: Waiting for Her

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    Newbie Sagara09 may be famous one day Sagara09 may be famous one day
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    Waiting for Her

    Here is a little story I am working on and I would like to know what some people think about it before I continue. So let me know what you guys think. Thank you!
    BTW they may be some grammer errors, so let me know what you find.

    Waiting for Her

    With the window cracked and the cool and gentle breeze brushing through his thick brown hair, Tak sat in his bed and stared at the ceiling. The sun's rays danced across his face as he remembered that last memory he shared with her. He sighed as he thought of how long it has been since the two last spoke. He thought to himself, "It has been almost an entire year.". He sat up and checked his calender. "Just three more days...", he continued " ... until I see her again.".
    The next couple of days went by really slow for Tak. He was slowly losing the battle between him and the clock that sat directly above the teacher. The only thing that freed him was sleep. At night, he dreamed of seeing her again and all the things that they would do. He seemed to forget alll of his worries and could relax at last.
    It was now Friday and Tak decided to spend the night with his friends since he did not have school the next day due to contruction within the school's area. He seemed to forget, at times, that she was coming to see him Saturday morning, and, when he remembered, he smiled as if he were a child who had just recieveda Birthday gift. Tak and the guys seemed to have enjoyed themselves all night and they found themselves talking about the future. Ikari, Tak's best friend, carried on about how he wanted to become a famous music star for hours and how great it would be to have them all visit him while he was on tour. All of the guys laughed at the idea, all but Tak. All Tak thought about was the one he loved. She was coming to see him and he could not stop thinking about he.
    "Hey Takumi-kun," Shinta said staring at Tak awkwardly,"What are you thinking about? You have been sitting there forever just doing nothing but smiling."
    "Oh,nothing really."Tak sighed and smiled.
    The guys just stared at Tak and began to laugh. Each of them already knew what he was thinking about, and they each seem to respect Tak, in their own way, for waiting so long for her to return.
    Saturday finally came and Tak seemed to struggle all morning trying to figure out to wear. After about an hour he finally chose his clothes, and he decided to go out to town to kill some time. While he was in the city he noticed the local news being brodcasted over televisions set up for display. He stopped dead in his tracks and froze as he veiwed the current report."Today," the news caster spoke," there was a devistaing train wreck approximately three hours ago. Five people were killed and several were injured." Tak became deathly pale and he stood there trebling as he realized that was the train his love was on.The reporter continued," The victims are currently being taken to the Nakagumi Hospital." Tak dropped the roses he had bought and ran as fast as he could to the hospital.
    "Kyouko!"Tak thought to himself, "Kyouko, please be alright! Please! I have waited for you for one whole year! Please don't make me live without you!"

    Section2

    Tak raced towards the hospital as fast as he could. The only thing he could think of was his dear Kyouko. He was so overwellemd by what happened that he did not even notice the car which almost ran him over. The words"Please, wait for me." ran through his head constantly.
    Almost out of breath, Tak finally reached the hospital and took a little time to catch his breath. "Can I help you?", a nurse asked staring at Tak in confusion."Is Kyouko Tamazawa here?", Tak asked after resting for a minute. "let me check", the nurse replied and walked up to the desk."Yes she is.She is in room 563" At that point Tak trembled in fear."But dont worry,"the nurse continued," she is fine.". Tak felt as if a burden had fallen off his shoulders and he rushed to the room.
    He stopped in front of the room and grabbed the door nob. He then paused to regain his composure and opened the door. He was shocked when he say Kyouko stting there as if she were waiting for him. "It has been one whole year Tak."She began to cry."And I felt so....alone" Tak walkedover and sat down next to her. "I am here now" Kyouko began to cry even more and said, "will you still love me...even..." she now broke down at this point and continued"even....if I will...never walk again...?" Tak held her closer and replied"I waited for you for a year, and there is nothing that will seperate me from you." Kyouko stared at Tak and wrapped her arms around him. "Why? Why are you too nice and too kind to me?" Tak simply replied,"Because I love you."
    Because of Kyouko's disability, she had to stay at the hospitalfor 2 weeks to undergo therapy. Every day Tak visited her and brought her food. He pratically moved in since he stayed there everyday and everynight next to her bedside. It didnt matter to Tak that the chair was highly unconfortable,as long as he was next to Kyouko, he was happy. Over that period of time, Tak began to wondered who would take care of Kyouko. Her reason for coming to visit Tak was to check out the school he attneded and possibly tranfer.She did not have a guardian since her parents died when she was young. She had currently been staying with some freinds of the family for a year so that she could figure out what she would do next. Tak could come up with only one solution.
    It was the day before Kyouko was released and Kyouko sat in her bed wondering what she would do and where should we go. She pondered these thoughts all day until Tak finally arrivedto see her. She noticed that he was a bit more nervouse and a bit sluggish. After a period of time, she finally built up the courage to ask him."Whats wrong?" Tak paused with his homework and looked at her. His face turned bright red and he began to speak."I know you dont have anywhere to go. So I thought all week of what you would do. We are about to start our las year of high school and this may sound awkward."He paused and his facialcolor changed from red to white."You know I live alone,since my parents divorced and what not....so....."He gulped and continued." I was wondering if you would like to stay with with me...? He stared at the ground in fear and shame.Kyouko stared at himand said, "Won't that mean.....?" Tak looked at her and nodded."Yes it does...." He reached in his pocket and grabbed a small ring. At this point,Tak was scared beyond all reason. He built up the courage and asked, "Will you marry me?

    Section 3
    Kyouko sat in her bed in shock and confusion. During her childhood years, the two promised to get married one day, and, as she grew older, she remembered that promse but only thought of it as a childish thing to do. She stared at Tak, for what seem to him to be hours, and finally opened her mouth."How will we live and..."Tak interupted her" I have already taken care of that. There is no need to worry." Kyouko began to tear up and began to cry. "I......I....I dont think I can right now. I haven't seen you for so long and we are also really young too.....I would like to but I want to get...." She paused for a second with Tak staring at her while trying toconstrain his emotions. "I would like to...to...er...date you first."
    At that time, Tak felt somewhat at ease. He realized what she had said was right. Tak was only eightteen at the time and Kyouko being one year younger than he. Tak smiled and replied, " Of course, I should have realized you would have said something like that. You did it the first time we promised too!" The two began to laugh while remembering all their childhood memories. All at once Kyouko froze and asked, "You rememver that even though it was twelve years ago?". Tak laughed and replied, "How can I not?"
    Later that week,Kyouko was released and Tak picked up Kyouko and placedherin her wheel chair. While in Tak's arms, she couldn't help but smile and wonder. Kyouko sat in her wheelchair while Tak pushed her back to his house. Along the way,many people began to stare at the two and Kyouko began to feel uneasy. She felt as if she wascausing too much trouble for him since some of the people give them both quite rude looks. In exchange, Tak smiled and waved at them,often he cought many off gaurd.
    They soon arrived at Tak's house.Kyouko looked down at the ground. "Im sorry. I am Sorry for causing you so much trouble." She started to cry a little. "Dont worry about it."Tak said and walked in front of her kneeled and smiled."Its okay. I am going to take care of you from now on." Kyouko became speechless and all she could do was smile an nod her head.
    The sun was now beginning to set and the purple and golden haze filled the sky. The soft and gentle breeze brushed through Kyouko's hair. The smell of summer filled the atmosphere and the joy of fall was creeping around the corner. She couldn't understand why Tak would do so much for her even though she could not walk, but she was beginning to understand.
    Last edited by Sagara09; Oct 12, 2006 at 07:07 PM.

  2. #2
    Newbie anime cutie may be famous one day anime cutie may be famous one day anime cutie's Avatar
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    wow thats good, ^^ I dont think I could write like that really! All i do is poetry!!!

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    Newbie Sagara09 may be famous one day Sagara09 may be famous one day
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    Quote Originally Posted by anime cutie View Post
    wow thats good, ^^ I dont think I could write like that really! All i do is poetry!!!
    Thank you! Ide like to read some of your poetry.I try to write poetry but Im not anygood!^_^'

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    Newbie TTT-Katana may be famous one day TTT-Katana may be famous one day TTT-Katana's Avatar
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    I like it. What happens next? Are you going to continue it? Please continue the story.
    My life is my own. You can't control me.
    I am like a sword get to close and you'll get hurt.
    I have very bad spelling. Expect some spelling mistakes.


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    Newbie Sagara09 may be famous one day Sagara09 may be famous one day
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    Quote Originally Posted by TTT-Katana View Post
    I like it. What happens next? Are you going to continue it? Please continue the story.
    LOL I will try to. Right now I am tied up with school stuff. Thank you for the comment!

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    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
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    too long. but still it was a great story.

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    Otaku fma1012 may be famous one day fma1012 may be famous one day fma1012's Avatar
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    That was a kinda long, but it was really good. ^^


    Thanks lifeforce! (:

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    Newbie Sagara09 may be famous one day Sagara09 may be famous one day
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    Quote Originally Posted by fma1012 View Post
    That was a kinda long, but it was really good. ^^
    I like to have good descriptions,and I really dont like short stories. I am going to try and make at least 10 more sections.

    BTW, Arigato!

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