Thread: Wanderer

ok a few things you need to focus on. Stick ot one tense. YOu'll find that if you pick a tense so either he did this... or he does this it's going to be alot better to understand. If you do this I think that the ideas you have in your head will come to light for your audience too.

Until that happens I'm sorry but I have a hard time understanding the image that you're trying to create. It's still a good poem and the diction (words) are well picked. after you correct the minor tense problems then I can start trying to really help you because then I'll have an understanding of your ideas.
Oh and btw nice font color ^^

Lol it seems you even took the liking on the font colour.. thank you ^^ i been writing in this colour since last year i love the colour

Hmm yes.. even my Lasura said something about the tense.. o.O i just don't understand why i won't stick to one tense when im writing anything... -.- *sighs* well i'll do better next time.. thank you for telling me again.. i just realized it's importantance... ^^

ahah no problem I wouldn't have recognized it if I wasn't doing the same thing a year ago. So yeah, it just takes a little practise. I'm sure you'll get it. As for the font I picked it to match "FIGHT" in my av.

Hmm then i changed the last stanza's tenses then... is it better now? ^^

Yup.. i noticed that from the beggining... love the font of it though hmm.. i wonder if we can change font here too... lets see...

Uu... i can!

What would be a great font now.. hmm...

Maybe this one... Naww... gee...

This seems too nerdy.. o.O Aha! This is perfect!