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Thread: Warmth

  1. #1
    Banned Big Bird Hunting Champion, Magic Ball Champion, Buzzer Champion, Book Worm Champion, Dragonfly Champion, Add It Up Champion, Trivial Blitz 2 Champion KimiFemi is off to a good start KimiFemi's Avatar
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    Warmth

    Fighting ... Crawling
    In a constant struggle to escape
    The depths of darkness that surrounds each of us
    Grasping at every shard of light
    Slowly we pull ourselve out of the night
    Out of the hands of Dispair and Depression
    As one by one we emerge
    Basking in the warmth
    Warmth that was once so far away
    We smile in the dawn of a new day

    It's a little short and I'm not really sure about the title
    so if you have any suggestions let me know =]

  2. #2
    RPG Lord and Master/Poet Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life's Avatar
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    Re: Warmth

    Indeed it is short, though the message is complete and inspiring. There is a feeling of evolution from a negative state to a positive state, which creates a nice feeling of development.

    depths
    grasping
    emerge
    basking

    Those words are nicely used.

    Final words: short, good vocabulary, all in all, a great read. But I do tend to like long texts as they often offer more insight on the skill of the writer. Cya next read
    Quote Originally Posted by Soldat of life View Post
    My favorite philosopher:
    Hassun

    Thanks to Xelhes for this amazing work of art ^.^
    Poetry Corner CLICK HERE IF YOU KNOW ME

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    Banned Big Bird Hunting Champion, Magic Ball Champion, Buzzer Champion, Book Worm Champion, Dragonfly Champion, Add It Up Champion, Trivial Blitz 2 Champion KimiFemi is off to a good start KimiFemi's Avatar
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    Re: Warmth

    awwww thanks Soldat!!! lol
    I'm not really good with long ones I tend to make them really corny lol >. but glad you liked it
    yeah the message was more about not giving up and eventually finding happiness

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