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Thread: A Weird Poem by me

  1. #1
    Newbie Nausicaä may be famous one day Nausicaä may be famous one day
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    A Weird Poem by me

    - Beholding an Evil -

    It was on an evening night,
    the surrounding halls were filled with noise.
    There were anguishes,
    there were moans,
    there were shouts of victory,
    and the opponent's ramble.

    The man heeds no calls,
    the man sighted his target.
    Approaching the menacing terror,
    he bravely sacrificed his work,
    his livelihood,
    and thus nailed his destiny.

    The evil flashes his most awesome,
    most devastating,
    most deplorable hands.
    The protagonist was stopped,
    but inside his rage burns;
    Nothing was to stop him.

    With his remaining fortune,
    he dueled with the evil.
    Hoping for a stroke of luck,
    for his tactics to work,
    for his strategies to suceed,
    and for his will to sear through.

    As the enemies revealed,
    their proud weapons.
    Sweat was on his brow,
    trembling from the rush,
    all traces of wetness -
    gone from his mouth.

    The man was defeated,
    the man was lost.
    His future was no more,
    and hunted by enemies.
    It will be many seasons,
    until the man pays off his debt.


    Anyone get what this poem's describing? I think the last sentence revealed quite a bit.

    Seven Silk Strands Striking Some Serious Sombrenos.

  2. #2
    RPG Lord and Master/Poet Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life's Avatar
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    Re: A Weird Poem by me

    Not quite...at least not after reading it once and trying to get the sense...paying off his dept...euh...*remains confused*.....hmmm....someone is betting his life in a game of poker?


    Lots of points lead to me believing this, but I'll let the others guess why, am I right? You can PM me if you want the others to try and find another answer or keep them from the truth XD
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    THUMBSUCKING ADDICTION Mr. K is making a name for themselves Mr. K is making a name for themselves Mr. K's Avatar
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    Re: A Weird Poem by me

    I get it I think.. Does it have to do with war? well anyways I liked it.
    ≥°≤ [?] █▓▒░░▒▓█ [?] ≥°≤
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    Newbie Nausicaä may be famous one day Nausicaä may be famous one day
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    Re: A Weird Poem by me

    Hehe, actually soldat kinda got it right. I used all the fighting as an analogy.

    Seven Silk Strands Striking Some Serious Sombrenos.

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    Banned Alucard_Spriggan may be famous one day Alucard_Spriggan may be famous one day Alucard_Spriggan's Avatar
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    Re: A Weird Poem by me

    This is a good poem! This was very smartly written and not bad at all!

  6. #6
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: A Weird Poem by me

    The first stanza turned me off quick. Try to make the author think about what is happening. Hide some allusions, analogies, or something with in this poem.



    This is pure analytical criticism.
    Seduced by Flesh


  7. #7
    Otaku deftbeat may be famous one day deftbeat may be famous one day deftbeat's Avatar
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    Re: A Weird Poem by me

    nicely done though i came confused at first

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