Thread: What am I truly afraid of...

What am I truly afraid of?
Being alone...
Alone in all places, for all time.
Alone in a world in which millions live.

To me, nothing,
Not lack of food, water, air, earth...
Nothing, is more scary than being alone.
I have loved, and i am loved.
Loved by family, by friends,
Loved family, friends and...
Yet I am still alone...

Frustrated that I can't find a way out,
Out of this bombardment of seclusion.
Crying because of this frustration,
Sad that I can't get rid of this feeling.

Depression sets in so easily,
Happiness, always throwing caution to the wind,
Since it never lasts...
Always diminishing when you least expect it
...lost, like trying to hold water, or catching air.
So, it causes doubt to grow...
Will I ever not be so lonely?

It causes physical pain,
The lonliness and depression.
Clawing like a hungry animal,
Trying to break out, scratching sensitive organs.

My heart aches,
My lungs and stomach on fire,
And my head spins out of control,
Dreaming of a world or time in which I am who I should be.
Imagining what it would be like to feel whole...complete.
The thing is, it wasn't always like this...
However regretfully, now feels too real to remember the joyous past.