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Thread: What If I told you...

  1. #9
    Newbie Clorox is off to a good start Clorox's Avatar
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    Re: What If I told you...

    This poem is beautiful... I love how it seems like you are confessing to someone in like a daydream sense... All in your head, if you will... Being straight-forward with them, but not really all because of this stanza...

    "Honesty is always naked.
    Show me the truth, until Im shaking.
    Creating a bond worth breaking.
    Somehow, makes me like the aching.

    And I could never tell you."

    I love how you ended the way you did... Being truthful, but not telling how you truly feel... Beautiful, but sad at the same time...

  2. #10
    Newbie lilkittykat13 is off to a good start lilkittykat13's Avatar
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    Re: What If I told you...

    wow that too much even for me to process but here's something I started writing back in the 5th gr. i call it Feudal Day

    Feudal Day by A. R.

    I sat down at my window one day and so I called this day Feudal Day. Feudal means in japan: Nice, Sweet Clean as the Sea.

    the trees were blowing so green in the breeze and the bees were as yellow as can be. I got up from my bead an laid my head upon my bed i got up and at looked at the driveway and it made think of the highway.

    The long long roads and the trees passing by and the state highway patrolmen saying "hi". I went for a walk to an lot and i thought alot. i walked home and saw my cat jumping an as happy as the day and i knew that this day was definitely a Feudal Day
    "I'd Just be the Catcher in the Rye all day long."~Holden Claufield from The Catcher in the Rye

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