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Reply With Quoteatomik_sprout (Oct 28, 2010), Violent (Oct 18, 2010)
Weighting on his heart,
like untold confessions
on sunday service,
He knows what he has to do.
His heart,
that still pumps
human blood,
speaks to him in riddles.
But his bruised, sweaty palms
speak to him in a language he understands.
A language that beats throught his veins.
He moves a muscle
but something stops him--
A force greater then God.
"What if?"
An entity that bears no physical form
but holds the power of all the
residents of Olympus.
He understands
"What if?" holds no power in that moment,
so he defies a force greater then god.
He utters the only word he can
Shazam--
His speed is equivalent to lightning
his heart beats faster
each centimeter he gets to his end,
he knows so he goes
faster.
He grips the leg of our once
most beloved savior,
and throws him back to earth.
So we can be blessed with him.
Naive eyes
stare into the skys,
as he fights for us to survive.
All options exhausted,
except self sacrifice.
SHAZAM.
Shippo is determined to become a lvl higherI'm a solider of Pen and Paper!<3 Atomik_Sprout <3
atomik_sprout (Oct 28, 2010), Violent (Oct 18, 2010)
A beautiful story of great undertakings and self sacrifice. It feels more like a very short and epic story than a poem in itself. Though a very short epic poem ^^
*Remembers having to read long ones, like Beowulf for example, though not too long either*
What made me think of epic was this line:
residents of Olympus
I don't recall the exact term for it, but the founding story where all began is what that line represents for me. And the part of self sacrifice in the end. And its more story like form.
Very nice though.
Originally Posted by Soldat of life
Thanks to Xelhes for this amazing work of art ^.^
Poetry Corner CLICK HERE IF YOU KNOW ME
I like how you refer to him as a person who listens to the gods (elders).
This poem is pretty compelling, nice choice in words and direction. Everyone should know life has choices and some aren't the ones you'll ever want to make but even tough things must be done swiftly and done with heart, true words followed blindly even thou he knows he listened hard for a long time to something he doesn't know just yet.
You've got the dreamers disease
This happens to be one of the only peoms i wrote this month that i'm proud of. I guess to Answer a question or two.
It feels more like a very short and epic story than a poem in itself. Though a very short epic poem ^^
So i think it was intended to sound more like a story.
Shippo is determined to become a lvl higherI'm a solider of Pen and Paper!
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