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Thread: When He Felt The World

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    Otaku Basketball Champion Shippo101 has disabled reputation Shippo101's Avatar
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    When He Felt The World

    Weighting on his heart,
    like untold confessions
    on sunday service,
    He knows what he has to do.
    His heart,
    that still pumps
    human blood,
    speaks to him in riddles.
    But his bruised, sweaty palms
    speak to him in a language he understands.
    A language that beats throught his veins.

    He moves a muscle
    but something stops him--
    A force greater then God.

    "What if?"

    An entity that bears no physical form
    but holds the power of all the
    residents of Olympus.

    He understands
    "What if?" holds no power in that moment,
    so he defies a force greater then god.

    He utters the only word he can
    Shazam--

    His speed is equivalent to lightning
    his heart beats faster
    each centimeter he gets to his end,
    he knows so he goes
    faster.

    He grips the leg of our once
    most beloved savior,
    and throws him back to earth.
    So we can be blessed with him.

    Naive eyes
    stare into the skys,
    as he fights for us to survive.

    All options exhausted,
    except self sacrifice.

    SHAZAM.
    Shippo is determined to become a lvl higher
    I'm a solider of Pen and Paper!
    <3 Atomik_Sprout <3

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    RPG Lord and Master/Poet Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life's Avatar
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    Re: When He Felt The World

    A beautiful story of great undertakings and self sacrifice. It feels more like a very short and epic story than a poem in itself. Though a very short epic poem ^^

    *Remembers having to read long ones, like Beowulf for example, though not too long either*

    What made me think of epic was this line:

    residents of Olympus

    I don't recall the exact term for it, but the founding story where all began is what that line represents for me. And the part of self sacrifice in the end. And its more story like form.


    Very nice though.
    Quote Originally Posted by Soldat of life View Post
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    Hassun

    Thanks to Xelhes for this amazing work of art ^.^
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    Legendary Otaku Violent may be famous one day Violent may be famous one day Violent's Avatar
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    Re: When He Felt The World

    I like how you refer to him as a person who listens to the gods (elders).

    This poem is pretty compelling, nice choice in words and direction. Everyone should know life has choices and some aren't the ones you'll ever want to make but even tough things must be done swiftly and done with heart, true words followed blindly even thou he knows he listened hard for a long time to something he doesn't know just yet.

    You've got the dreamers disease

    THE RULES!

    I'm on my grind in search to find whats on my mind, its one of a kind!

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    Otaku Basketball Champion Shippo101 has disabled reputation Shippo101's Avatar
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    Re: When He Felt The World

    This happens to be one of the only peoms i wrote this month that i'm proud of. I guess to Answer a question or two.

    It feels more like a very short and epic story than a poem in itself. Though a very short epic poem ^^
    If anyone has ever read Kingdom Come the comic. The DC universe one. I wrote this peom in reference to two pages in there. One where captain Marvel is asked by superman to stay and take his place as humnitys hero. next page Captain Marvel took Supermans place (super man was gonna sacrific himself).

    So i think it was intended to sound more like a story.

    glad peeple likes it!
    Shippo is determined to become a lvl higher
    I'm a solider of Pen and Paper!
    <3 Atomik_Sprout <3

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