When I think

EternalNaraku77 · Aug 16, 2006, 01:37 AM

When I think of how the worlds turned out
a tear runs down my cheek
When I think of the things humans are capable of
I cannot speak

When I think of the way my friends lives have turned
I cry
When I think of the path of life
I stay quiet and wait to die.

tupacs_wifey · Aug 16, 2006, 01:39 AM

hummmm thats pretty.......................

*HolderOfTheDarkChalice* · Aug 16, 2006, 02:07 AM

this is a pretty sad poemshort and sweet like you emotions can be
nice perspective with how short it was

*Kasai* · Aug 16, 2006, 02:16 AM

I have to agree with DarkChalice.. However, more description would have made the poem lovely. I felt it was bare bones, and we have yet to fully understand and recognize the emotion in this poem. Try giving the reader more "umpf". Vivid words are your friends.

Good job.

unknown&uncaredfor · Aug 16, 2006, 10:19 PM

keep your chin up and yours words light

HieisLove · Aug 17, 2006, 08:02 AM

Short but still lovely. 10/10!!

Aug 16, 2006, 01:37 AM	#1 (permalink)
EternalNaraku77 Newbie Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Wichita, Kansas USA Posts: 12 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 110	When I think When I think of how the worlds turned out a tear runs down my cheek When I think of the things humans are capable of I cannot speak When I think of the way my friends lives have turned I cry When I think of the path of life I stay quiet and wait to die.
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Aug 16, 2006, 01:39 AM	#2 (permalink)
tupacs_wifey Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In My own heart Posts: 441 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 697	Re: When I think hummmm thats pretty....................... __________________ HolderOfTheDarkChalice's LiL sis
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Aug 16, 2006, 02:07 AM	#3 (permalink)
HolderOfTheDarkChalice Tournaments Won: 1 King Of Darkness Join Date: May 2006 Location: someplace where the only light is the moon above Posts: 2,797 Thanks: 21 Thanked 21 Times in 20 Posts Credits: 3,320	Re: When I think this is a pretty sad poemshort and sweet like you emotions can be nice perspective with how short it was __________________ thanks mellow your sig is top notch http://www.animeonline.net/links/
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Aug 16, 2006, 02:16 AM	#4 (permalink)
Kasai Domme Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 2,745 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,490	Re: When I think I have to agree with DarkChalice.. However, more description would have made the poem lovely. I felt it was bare bones, and we have yet to fully understand and recognize the emotion in this poem. Try giving the reader more "umpf". Vivid words are your friends. Good job. __________________ Seduced by Flesh
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Aug 16, 2006, 10:19 PM	#5 (permalink)
unknown&uncaredfor Newbie Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 4 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 10	Re: When I think keep your chin up and yours words light __________________ DarknessIsToBeEmbraced
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Welcome to AnimeOnline.net, your personal Anime Community!	Anime Online Rulez!

Aug 17, 2006, 08:02 AM	#6 (permalink)
HieisLove Getting Married 3-14-09 Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: at home doing wedding planning Posts: 883 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 3,048	Re: When I think Short but still lovely. 10/10!! __________________ ~Music Is My Boyfriend!!~
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