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Thread: When I think

  1. #1
    Newbie EternalNaraku77 may be famous one day EternalNaraku77 may be famous one day
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    Post When I think

    When I think of how the worlds turned out
    a tear runs down my cheek
    When I think of the things humans are capable of
    I cannot speak

    When I think of the way my friends lives have turned
    I cry
    When I think of the path of life
    I stay quiet and wait to die.

  2. #2
    Otaku tupacs_wifey may be famous one day tupacs_wifey may be famous one day tupacs_wifey's Avatar
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    Re: When I think

    hummmm thats pretty.......................

    HolderOfThe
    DarkChalice's LiL sis

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    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: When I think

    this is a pretty sad poemshort and sweet like you emotions can be
    nice perspective with how short it was
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  4. #4
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: When I think

    I have to agree with DarkChalice.. However, more description would have made the poem lovely. I felt it was bare bones, and we have yet to fully understand and recognize the emotion in this poem. Try giving the reader more "umpf". Vivid words are your friends.

    Good job.
    Seduced by Flesh


  5. #5
    Newbie unknown&uncaredfor may be famous one day unknown&uncaredfor may be famous one day
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    Re: When I think

    keep your chin up and yours words light
    DarknessIsToBeEmbraced

  6. #6
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·. HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove's Avatar
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    Re: When I think

    Short but still lovely. 10/10!!
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·._.·'¯) ♥

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