when will i know?
there are so many questions that have no answers... or perhaps their answers do not start with a question... but rather with a discovery of self.
can we ever truly know ourselves? is it right to justify our actions through our knowledge of self? do we truly consider what it takes to know ourselves or do we just assume we know because we've spent endless hours alone with oursleves reading books or watching television or playing a game... perhaps writing poetry or submerseing ourselves in relaxtion and deep thought while listening to music.
how will i know when i know myself? is there a point you have to reach in self understanding in order to officially know yourself? if so is that point messurable in time or knowledge or just based on your reactions to everyday life? is it truely messurable at all?
mabey we consider things in a new way to throw our lives into chaos and disorder to better learn about ourselves... or perhaps we do it to learn about others. will i know? for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction... i believe that is issac newton... does that mean that by knowing others i can begin to know myself?
how will i know, truly know, when i know myself? will someone be able to tell if i truly know myself? can people tell if others truly know the people they surround themselves with? is knowing that my friend eve likes nature walks or my friend nick fantasizes about being a knight of the round table telling me that i truly know them? perhaps knowing their ambitions or their goals or even perhaps knowing their dreams is what says i know them?
mabey its knowing the type of music they like or the food they eat... or the clothes they wear or even the people they surround themselves with... how can i know when i truly know myself? what is it that defines self kowledge? can anyone truly know another person when they cannot truly know themselves? how will i know when i find the right person for me? how will i know if she's the one i'm meant to be with? what is it that tells me if she's my type or weather or not it will work out between us? how can i tell who i'm meant to be with if i'm not sure who i'm meant to be? how long does it take to find the answers to these never ending random thoughts that pass through my mind each passing moment that my life continues? how do i find myself in the darkening world i live in? how will i know when i find myself? when will i know?
is the journey to self knowledge short or does it take a lifetime? i'd like to think i'm still learning about myself and the people around me. i'd like to think that my journey to self knowledge has just begun. i'd like to think that by surrounding myself with good people and new and ever changeing things i begin to grow and learn more and more each day. i'd like to believe, when i look back on my life while laying on my deathbed, that i will know who i was and how i lived.
i'd like to think that when i look back on my life and consider how happy i was or how many people i hurt or if i have any regrets that i will know who i was. i'd like to think that when i look at the loveing eyes of the people around me when i die, i will know who the woman i was meant to be with was and who the people that truly knew me where. i'd like to think that in death, we can find life, and in so doing, we can accept our fate and continue on to a new life beyond life and return to the great flow of time from whence we came.
i'd like to think i'll know when that time comes.