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Thread: Where Is A Place Of Peace

  1. #1
    Banned beast may be famous one day beast may be famous one day beast's Avatar
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    Where Is A Place Of Peace

    Another day comes, and soon it will be gone.
    Lines in the sand, still getting deeper, stay drawn.
    Somewhere at any point on Earth there is struggle.
    War wages, runners have weapons to smuggle.
    The despair can change the sane to the maddest,
    Who can say whose lot in life is the saddest.
    Kids pray angels of mercy whisk them away.
    For hundreds never see peace until death's day.

  2. #2
    Newbie Japxican may be famous one day Japxican may be famous one day Japxican's Avatar
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    Here, there, anywhere...kinda like eating green eggs and ham.
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    Re: Where Is A Place Of Peace

    I like the rhyming scheme. You touch on a topic that speaks to people. I would suggest making it longer, though. It feels a little blotchy, like there should be more describing what's going on. I'd also recommend putting either a semicolon or a period after maddest and a question mark after saddest (because the "who" is making the sentence a question). I did like your choice of words as well; they flow quite nicely. Overall, a good poem.

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