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Thread: Whispers of the heart

  1. #1
    Otaku ryomakurosaki is off to a good start ryomakurosaki's Avatar
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    Whispers of the heart

    Whispers of the heart

    Where does the time go
    when I am with you?
    Nothing seems to matter
    and the warmth of your love is all I need.
    The pains I felt before
    are all gone…
    Thanks to you.

    You speak gently when you,
    whisper the words "I love you"…
    But those words echo throughout my body.
    You hold me tight and
    never let me go till it was time to go,
    but now those words you spoke I hear no more.

    Time drags slowly
    and death brings us apart.
    All is left are the notes you wrote.
    All I feel is the cold air
    chilling my skin.
    And now all I am left with are the
    whispers of the heart that should have been mine.

    I want to give a big thanks to divine for the help ^^
    Last edited by ryomakurosaki; Jan 14, 2008 at 02:52 PM.
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  2. #2
    Otaku crazy canadin emo kid is off to a good start crazy canadin emo kid's Avatar
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    Re: Whispers of the heart

    this poem give me chills caz it was cold today so i got chills when i read this

    and alot of love went into this i like it

    and like all ways good work and i wood like to see another one
    the one and only show that rocks my socks
    the one show that i cant live
    with out.

    soul society will live on forever in the minds of its poeple!!!

  3. #3
    NalaMidnight Eggs Champion P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess's Avatar
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    Re: Whispers of the heart

    wow this is good.
    I did have a lil time reading through some of the lines so i reread them.
    But i other than that i thought it was really good.
    The emotions was just like the best.
    keep up the good work and i hope to see more.

    ~Falling in love one step at a time~
    ~ MYSPACE~AWESOME PLACE TO SAVE~

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    Otaku moonlight_child may be famous one day moonlight_child may be famous one day moonlight_child's Avatar
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    Re: Whispers of the heart

    This poem has so much emotion. It's like I can feel what you are going through. It's haunting in a way. The poem stays with you. Like it's imprinted on the memory. Good work of Art!!
    Love is like a gust of wind; it blows and then goes away...
    Without you, my soul goes out of control on the brink of danger...
    My world is already in a violent storm

  5. #5
    Otaku katsoyori33 is off to a good start katsoyori33's Avatar
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    Re: Whispers of the heart

    Wow... its really sad. This is a great poem. Keep up the good work! hope to see more.


    Meow. :3

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Whispers of the heart

    Very nice ^^ I really, really like this as well as the previous one... it's very lovely... It made me smile at the start- you described everything so nice and lovely ^^ the end made me sad... But it also made me appriciate the love that I have ^^

    Again a nice work ^^

    Just... 2 suggestions.
    Firstly, I would use different punctuation in the first sentence of the second stranza. Something like:
    "You speak gently when you
    whisper the words "I love you""..."

    And I think you missed a word in the last line:
    "And now ALL I am left with are the
    whispers of the heart that should have been mine."

    But anyways- a very, very nice work!!! ^^ I hope to see more.

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  7. #7
    Otaku Caixa 2006 Champion Corvus may be famous one day Corvus may be famous one day Corvus's Avatar
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    Re: Whispers of the heart

    I have to say that I like this but it hurts too nice way to capture the emotion.

    ... and join my rebellion against time.

  8. #8
    Otaku ryomakurosaki is off to a good start ryomakurosaki's Avatar
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    Re: Whispers of the heart

    Thank you ^^ everyone it's mean alot that you enjoyed my poetry ^^ Yes I understand I have to improve my grammer. Thank you soo much when being honest, I take the honest opinons to heart. Again thank you for the comments. But I wanted to know if i am using enough describing words. You see like mental images when you read it? I like to paint images for the people who reads my poetry ^^ anyways thank you
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