I thought you said that you would never repeat my mistakes.
You told me when you found out that you were disappointed with me.
Which made me ashamed of myself.
That I hurt you and now I found out you made the same mistake.
There were so may things that was running through my mind.
You didn’t care about them at all the only thing that
you cared about was yourself at the time.
When you also found out that I tried to take my life where
I know I didn’t belong in this would.
You were provoked at me for doing it.
You saw me burn and stumble hard on my face and now
I am going to see you go down in flames.
You saw that I was going to get married and
that he had a job to support the two of us.
And had a place to ourselves.
Not living with mom and dad all the time.
Though there were times I wanted to come back and stay their.
Now I see same scene but the only different is that you are
still with our parents and he is living their as well.
He doesn’t do a damn thing at all.
Then only thing that concerns him was that damn car of his.
When you start seeing some of your friends again now.
He want’s to know all the details but you don’t tell him what is really going on.
And then he gets mad at you for being with friends whether is male or female.
I know I’m going to see you stumble and stumble hard.
Just like you saw me do. But now it’s my turn to see you stumble.
I just hope to high heaven that you come back to your old self like
I did but with more experience behind my back.
I know we didn’t see eye to eye but that is expected from siblings.
All I know is that I just want my sister back safe and sound.
Well everyone what do you think. Please give me your honest opinion.
I think it sounds great. It shows how much you care for your sister and how much you want her to not make the same mistakes as you did. Lots of feelings in this one. Good job. Hope to see more from you.
thanks fire for the nice commet. I will try to come up with more poems. I know deep down I have them in me. And again thanks for the nice commet.
This one is really nice Ice. I liked it it was full of emotion, confusion, hope, and many others, good mixture of them in there good job I hope to see more from you. keep up the good work.
great poem like ichigo_06 said good use of all the features i also really like the tittle you gave it and the way you didnt rhym it keep it up hope to hear some more from you
That tugged at my heartstrings, I'll tell you. What a shame when men get possessive and women do nothing about it! What a shame when people don't heed the lessons learned by others!
Originally Posted by ice viper
Beautiful, Ice. Sad, but beautiful . . .
Wow Ice, I had to read this one three times and I have to say that it is beautiful, I really mean that. I know how you felt about your sister not making the same mistakes. and that really got me in the heart...
beautiful, sad and wonderful all at the same time.
*stands and claps hard* bravo, bravo.
The emotion in here is powerful..slowly build as the poem goes.. nicely done :)