+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 8 of 10

Thread: why

  1. #1
    Otaku ice viper is off to a good start ice viper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    I'm lost
    Posts
    212
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    why

    I thought you said that you would never repeat my mistakes.
    You told me when you found out that you were disappointed with me.

    Which made me ashamed of myself.
    That I hurt you and now I found out you made the same mistake.
    There were so may things that was running through my mind.
    You didn’t care about them at all the only thing that
    you cared about was yourself at the time.

    When you also found out that I tried to take my life where
    I know I didn’t belong in this would.
    You were provoked at me for doing it.

    You saw me burn and stumble hard on my face and now
    I am going to see you go down in flames.
    You saw that I was going to get married and
    that he had a job to support the two of us.
    And had a place to ourselves.
    Not living with mom and dad all the time.

    Though there were times I wanted to come back and stay their.
    Now I see same scene but the only different is that you are
    still with our parents and he is living their as well.

    He doesn’t do a damn thing at all.
    Then only thing that concerns him was that damn car of his.
    When you start seeing some of your friends again now.
    He want’s to know all the details but you don’t tell him what is really going on.
    And then he gets mad at you for being with friends whether is male or female.
    I know I’m going to see you stumble and stumble hard.
    Just like you saw me do. But now it’s my turn to see you stumble.

    I just hope to high heaven that you come back to your old self like
    I did but with more experience behind my back.
    I know we didn’t see eye to eye but that is expected from siblings.
    All I know is that I just want my sister back safe and sound.

    Well everyone what do you think. Please give me your honest opinion.
    Last edited by ice viper; Oct 15, 2007 at 03:20 PM.

  2. #2
    ~always by your side~ Radarix Champion, Virus 2 Champion, Virus 3 Champion fireandice is off to a good start fireandice's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    small little hick town
    Posts
    521
    Thanks
    19
    Thanked 18 Times in 18 Posts

    Re: why

    I think it sounds great. It shows how much you care for your sister and how much you want her to not make the same mistakes as you did. Lots of feelings in this one. Good job. Hope to see more from you.

  3. #3
    Otaku ice viper is off to a good start ice viper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    I'm lost
    Posts
    212
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Re: why

    thanks fire for the nice commet. I will try to come up with more poems. I know deep down I have them in me. And again thanks for the nice commet.

  4. #4
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    628
    Thanks
    19
    Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts

    Re: why

    This one is really nice Ice. I liked it it was full of emotion, confusion, hope, and many others, good mixture of them in there good job I hope to see more from you. keep up the good work.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

  5. #5
    Otaku Tom2Ace is off to a good start Tom2Ace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Somewhere You don't know
    Posts
    104
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: why

    great poem like ichigo_06 said good use of all the features i also really like the tittle you gave it and the way you didnt rhym it keep it up hope to hear some more from you

  6. #6
    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Good question . . . where am I?
    Posts
    1,170
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked 26 Times in 21 Posts

    Re: why

    Quote Originally Posted by ice viper View Post
    Well everyone what do you think. Please give me your honest opinion.
    That tugged at my heartstrings, I'll tell you. What a shame when men get possessive and women do nothing about it! What a shame when people don't heed the lessons learned by others!

    Beautiful, Ice. Sad, but beautiful . . .

  7. #7
    Otaku Dune Bashing In Dubai Champion, Yetisports 10 - Icicle Climb Champion, Yeti Bubbles Champion overload is off to a good start overload's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    the Dark Side
    Posts
    494
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 16 Times in 15 Posts

    Re: why

    Wow Ice, I had to read this one three times and I have to say that it is beautiful, I really mean that. I know how you felt about your sister not making the same mistakes. and that really got me in the heart...
    beautiful, sad and wonderful all at the same time.
    *stands and claps hard* bravo, bravo.

  8. #8
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Not somewhere I love but I am glad I have a home so far
    Posts
    3,804
    Thanks
    82
    Thanked 61 Times in 56 Posts

    Re: why

    The emotion in here is powerful..slowly build as the poem goes.. nicely done

    ^^

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
    >>>facebook<<<

+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts