+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: Why do i get these feelings?

  1. #1
    Àddïctëd tø |ăüghïñg :) Sonny Sunshine Champion, Volcano Champion, Aquarium Sprengischen Champion, Spiderman Web of Words Champion, Look Alive Champion iluvmyloser is off to a good start iluvmyloser's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    No where near, New York.
    Posts
    688
    Thanks
    31
    Thanked 20 Times in 19 Posts

    Why do i get these feelings?

    *Ahem*

    A short introduction about my poem which is a true story on my myspace blog

    "AHHHH!!!!!OMG i cant stop thinking about someone..
    when i hear the word"love" i think of him when i usually thought of nothing, (unless you consider a heart something).
    when i pass by him i smile, when he smiles back i blush.....uh oh...can it be...?

    I can't believe it.
    I SERIOUSLY don't think i can handle this.
    I have homework, school and stuff to look forward to.
    I have to hang out w/my friends, talk on the phone.

    BUT I CANT HELP IT!!!!!!!

    Hello, like duh!!


    It's called LOVE"




    Why do i get these feelings??


    I'm on my way to first period
    where you sit by me in class
    *ring* the bell rang!
    oh sh*t I forgot my pass!

    The teacher of course sends me to the office
    to get a tardy slip
    then i just remembered
    my love note was not hid!

    And so then up to this very point
    you could see it was not my day
    "but that's not all of it", i thought
    oh what did i just say!

    I could not believe what was happening
    i think i fell in love
    the trap that gets my ups and downs
    and that get boys saying i was sent from above.

    My eyes got watery
    i guess what you call tears.
    and then i heard a deep voice
    i couldn't believe my ears!

    My love was talking to me,
    asking if i was ok.
    Then he took out my hand
    what could i say?

    Then he said no more
    and grabbed me in his arms
    he said, "I know how you feel, and i feel the same"
    oh how i wanted to call my mom!

    He wiped my tears, kissed my lips
    wondering , "did i faint?"
    when i got back to class
    I thought i had gone insane.

    My first love
    oh how i dreamed
    this moment from today
    would remain the same for me!!

    _________________

    I know stupid, but i tried lol.
    Yeah, Bye.

  2. #2
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Friendly Fridley
    Posts
    1,477
    Thanks
    124
    Thanked 140 Times in 121 Posts

    Re: Why do i get these feelings?

    hmmm... This was a bit a rocky as far as the flow. And there were confusing parts... But I gotta say, I think this was one of your better works! I think you do well writing your honest feeling and thoughts. Like those first 2 stanzas... they were both clever, they set the scene for your story. They made me want to read more. It sounded more like YOUR WORDS, instead of a dolled up, romance novel. You should write like this more often.
    ... Not Ever Again...

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. feelings
    By ryomakurosaki in forum Poems
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: May 25, 2014, 06:48 AM
  2. Amalgamated Feelings [II]
    By Rave_Grip in forum Poems
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: Nov 02, 2007, 07:33 AM
  3. let my feelings!
    By iluvmyloser in forum Poems
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: Jul 11, 2007, 12:53 PM
  4. Feelings
    By Ichigo_06 in forum Poems
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: Jul 01, 2007, 07:29 PM
  5. Feelings
    By Lotski in forum Poems
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: Apr 19, 2007, 01:45 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts