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Thread: Why wont you let me in?

  1. #1
    Newbie Angeldust016 is off to a good start Angeldust016's Avatar
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    Why wont you let me in?

    Why wont you let me in?
    I just want to help
    But it seems the more i try,
    the more u push me away.

    I feel left out most of the time,
    like if you dont want me here.
    You try to hide it,
    but i can see it in your eyes.

    I'm going crazy trying to figure it out,
    but it just confuses me more.
    I want to know so i can help,
    but you dont seem to want me to know.

    I'm tired of asking
    and you telling me nothing.
    I dont know what to do,
    it feels like im hurting you.

    Do you not want me here?
    Do you want me gone?
    Please tell me so i can know
    than, maybe, i would be less confused.

    Why wont you let me in?
    What are you afraid of?


    Ummm... yea i know its not that good but thats why i posted it maybe someone can help me fix it or tell me whats wrong with it n stuff like that, ^-^
    Its sad how true things can be.

  2. #2
    Otaku rksamurai may be famous one day rksamurai may be famous one day rksamurai's Avatar
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    Re: Why wont you let me in?

    I just got over a really hard relationship and this seems that this exact think is happening to me. I try to come back because I want to help and I want it all back, but I cant return. I read poetry because I know that other poeple have the same feelings as I do. I just like hearing it from other people.

    Keep writing!
    Thank you Lasura!
    My lover speaks; and he says, 'Arise my beloved my beautiful one and come!' -Song of Songs 2:10

  3. #3
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Why wont you let me in?

    Hmmm... is it the music I have in the font or (it's taking me into trans I think ) or is this not that bad at all. I like it and I know how that feels therefore I did enjoy reading this.

    It is odd, but that is the oddness I have in my poems too, so I don't know how to fix it obviously. It's like... the poem is too simple, the words are just too simple, the meaning just too easy to see. I really don't know how to fix it With time?

    Maybe just next time, try to hide what you want to say when you write, wrap it in fancy words and odd imaginery- that should help. ^^

    I hope that helps a bit. But I really did like this poem and I will be looking forward for more! Cheers!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  4. #4
    Newbie Angeldust016 is off to a good start Angeldust016's Avatar
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    Re: Why wont you let me in?

    thnx for yalls comments and advice ill try to add some things to my next one ^-^.
    Its sad how true things can be.

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