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Thread: Willows in the wind

  1. #1
    Elie Jelly elie26 may be famous one day elie26 may be famous one day elie26's Avatar
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    Willows in the wind

    Here goes-

    Willows in the wind

    I stand watching the shadow beneath
    A blur vision, under the twilight moon
    Reminiscing the memories of forgotten dreams
    Till droplets of crystal tears rippled the water surface

    Awaken from the surreal and dream-like trance
    I strode and stood beneath the blanket of stars
    Watching the willow tree from afar
    Drowned in my own world of silent thoughts

    Hair rumpled with the slight windy breeze
    Reaching out for an unknown comfort in the dark
    The sense of belonging between my fingertips
    Just for a tiny moment then gone with the wind

    Rustling sounds of leaves, a cricket in the night
    Humming the melody of a long lost ancient cry
    A silent symphony playing in around my ears
    How soothing it sounded like nature’s loving call

    Here, I lay beneath the grassy land
    While the willow stood in the breeze
    Skies within stars, stars within hearts
    Wishes forever remaining in the hearts of hopefuls


    Pls give honest comments! Thx.

  2. #2
    Banned The White Wolf is off to a good start
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    Re: Willows in the wind

    What a wonderful poem, elie! It was so nice. Imagery worked to the max, in my opinion. I loved it, however the last line didn't go too well with me. Actually, the last stanza itself was a little out of place in accordance to the rest of the poem.

    Other than all of that, what a lovely poem you made here Elie. ^ ^

    I enjoyed it very much.

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    ??*Everyone Here Hates Me??* Zackraa may be famous one day Zackraa may be famous one day Zackraa's Avatar
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    Re: Willows in the wind

    beautiful really it made me tear up a bit I love your descriptions they give me a great visual of the scenery


  4. #4
    Heavy Metal Goddess CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18's Avatar
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    Re: Willows in the wind

    Very good poem I liked the line about the droplets of crystal tears rippled the water surface and skies within stars and stars within hearts. Those were pretty lines. Keep up the good work.
    "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
    Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
    Thanks so much I love it!

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    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Willows in the wind

    Wow, such a great job writing a descriptive poem. To be honest I really enjoyed reading it

  6. #6
    Otaku Hitokiri Battousai may be famous one day Hitokiri Battousai may be famous one day
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    Re: Willows in the wind

    very nice poem, I specially liked the 4th stanza, I dont know why lol, it just has something familiar in it for me

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    Otaku Reese may be famous one day Reese may be famous one day
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    Re: Willows in the wind

    Love it! *__*

    Wonderful work Elie, the atmosphere is created so beautifully. ^_^

  8. #8
    Elie Jelly elie26 may be famous one day elie26 may be famous one day elie26's Avatar
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    Re: Willows in the wind

    Quote Originally Posted by The White Wolf View Post
    What a wonderful poem, elie! It was so nice. Imagery worked to the max, in my opinion. I loved it, however the last line didn't go too well with me. Actually, the last stanza itself was a little out of place in accordance to the rest of the poem.

    Other than all of that, what a lovely poem you made here Elie. ^ ^

    I enjoyed it very much.
    o__o This is a suprise, I didn't thought much of the poem myself. ^^"
    Lol, you caught my hidden secret! The last line was took from my msn personal message I wrote before I started with the poem. I thought it could, possibly, perhaps ... suit the poem. =p Guess not. Anyways thanks for the comments guys ^_^ I'll try harder.

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