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Old Jul 02, 2009, 05:28 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Winding Road

Winding Road


Awaken from my deepest slumber,

I found myself a-lying on the shore

Lifeless, motionless, gutless

My consciousness is at loss.


My whole body is as numb as a stone

Without any kind of feeling…

Love, hate, happiness and sadness

Are these feelings for real?


I, a lone soul, is wandering in circles

Not stopping by to greet somebody

A soul does not care for anything

Except for thyself.


For sure, I am taking a winding road

Without direction and course known

Living life again and again…

Constantly longing for a place to rest.


I, a lone soul, dreamed of milk and honey,

Hoping for someone who cares to wait for me,

Until the fateful day for me to come

For my life to serve its purpose.




Author's notes: It's been a while since I found myself snooping here at AO. It's nice to be back. Every critique and suggestion is always welcome. Happy Reading.
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Old Jul 02, 2009, 06:31 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Winding Road

that was a good poem! i liked that. you should write more!
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raja_psyche (Jul 03, 2009)
Old Jul 02, 2009, 06:25 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Winding Road

very awesome poem Raja i think wondering
lost souls are a good example of people that
are waiting for that specail someone , it may
be lonely but the wait is worth it when they
find the one they were meant to be with
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Old Jul 02, 2009, 07:59 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Winding Road

@Tokini: Thanks for your comment. I'll try to write poems if time permits me. ^^ *gives cookies and tea*

@HolderOfTheDarkChalice: I am happy to see you comment on my humble poem. I do believe that sometime in a person's life, he/she gets somewhat lost/ confused on what path he/she has to walk upon. Life is not as easy as ABC, and I believe there is a special mission for each one of us and it takes time to realize it. *Now I am getting a bit talkative waheheh* *gives cookies and tea*
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Old Jul 03, 2009, 03:31 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Winding Road

>.< where's my cookies? *checking the jar* >.< don't tell me you took it old friend >.<
No wonder you give it at ease o.o T.T my cookies!!

Great poem as always.. enjoyed this work of yours.. thank you for writing it... It might bring me inspiration for my new poem! Still a work in progress though >.<

Oh back the poem.. Love the way it flowed.. ^^ but i kinda feel like.. the first two part... kinda... confusing me a bit.. you see.. you stated there that there's a soul lying down.. then you continue after that.. you're taking winding road... and that you're wondering in circles... I don't get it.. when one have fallen and lay down feeling numb ect ect.. ain they suppose to stay down? :1p:
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Old Jul 09, 2009, 07:37 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Winding Road

*Gives cookies and Tea*

It's been a while Rayme wahehehe! Thanks for commenting at this humble poem of mine. heheh. About what you noticed, winding road = confused.

The scenario of this poem is about a person who's life is about to cease... and she was having clouded thoughts about having a life without a direction. She reminsced her life's journey and yet thought that she was unable to fulfill her life's purpose.

*Gives you a jar filled with chocolate chip cookies to replace the missing jar of cookies, waheheheheh*

I am looking forward to read your masterpiece as well.
^^
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Old Jul 14, 2009, 10:29 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Winding Road

lying here lifeless,
thinking of your face,
i love you to much to care what other people say.
i know there will be a day or two,
when i dont feel completley in love with you,
im willing to take these risks,
i can remember that one kiss.
dont tell me im hot, only beautiful,
dont tell me you love me a lot, only a little.
lets give it one more shot,
i promise you we can make it work.
make it worth the time,
i just wanna know your mine,
so im not lying here lifeless,
thinking of your face.
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Old Jul 14, 2009, 11:21 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Winding Road

@Lelouch vi Britannia: Wow that's a beautiful poem you have there (*The red text is kinda hurting my eyes though*). The poem's pictured sad emotions and yet it conveys that love is not always perfect, thus, a person needs to take risks, second chances as well as to face a lot of complications in the process.

I suggest you post this poem of yours in a different thread for others to see too and I wonder about the title of the poem.

*gives you cookies and tea*
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