gren

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Gren's Music

!The White Wolf

Wow Gren! I love it!

It's so nice. It has an eerie feeling all throughout it. It's short, and has such a deep feeling. Winter, your love.

I enjoyed it very much! Keep it up, gren.

Lotski

nyahehehe, cool man! so cold but warm eh?
short, direct to the point..
what aboout summer? hehehe jk jk

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Be d REASON for someone's happiness, NOT just part of it...
Be a PART of someone's sadness, but NOT d reason for it.

gren

I had a few lines from this bouncing around in my head for a couple of days, and I finally got around to writing it down.

I'm toying with a new style here (new for me, anyway); I tried it once before in a poem I wrote for a class, and I really liked the end result. Maybe I'll post that one sometime, I think it was the best piece I've ever written.

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Gren's Music

elie26

Yes I agree, the style was very interesting! I love how you made it short and sweet. One of favs Great job!

Kasai

Well, keep on doing whatever you're doing. At first, I didnt like the wording. But as I continued to read? It grew on me. Awesome job at creating the tone.

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RayMe

yeah .. agree with kasai...

i like it very much...
really short and straight to the point..

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Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
The best ever Lasura~!
>>>myspace<<<

gren

Thanks, all. It's always encouraging to get positive feedback. I used to write regularly, but somehow got out of the habit. Picking it up again makes me realize how much I enjoy it.

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-=Broken^Halo=-

Ok.. at first glance, this poem just looks like random words to me, I don't see the meaning, but I took a closer look at what I took from it.

"Winter
cut close, cut cold"

Ok, well the first line is confusing, what is cutting? Winter? A knife? It's implied you're talking about winter, consider it's the title. So yeah.. confusing but understood.

this chill cuts the flesh
and saws down through the bone.

This stanza is odd, I felt that the word "down" wasn't needed and would help the flow if removed. Again simple imagery, based on the saying "Chilled to the bone."

run deep, run red

Ok now what is the red? Is it blood? and if so where did the blood come from? This line makes me think the first stanza is referring to a knife or something literal instead of figurative.

this blood runs through the vein
and freezes thick in the heart.

I like this line, it's easy to understand, ties the poem together, telling us your heart is cold, frozen, which could be considered callused or jaded. Without feeling.

fall hard, fall far

So what is falling? Your emotions? is this referenced to how you feel?

this snow falls on the lips
and blisters the delicate skin.

Why the lips, and why does it hurt? Perhaps your lack of emotion is what hurts, which is a contradictory in its self considering you can't be hurt if you have no emotion.

My love, my winter, will last forever.

This strikes me as "Dread" as if you don't want to be lifeless or emotionless, stuck in a moment, so to say.



Over all, I like it, short and sweet, but nothing here is tangible, What I see in this poem is confusion inside ones self, you want to be callused and tough, but that slight aching pain of emotion bleeds through you. Perhaps it's a realization of being human, being vulnerable to ones own thoughts influenced by the outside world of reality. This poem shows me confusion about the writer, which can confuse the reader. If the writer doesn't know what the feeling is in the poem, then neather does the reader. Good poem.. Write more ^.^

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Chiefblackhammer

A poem is suppose to be what you see in it...not what the writer was necessarily intending by each and every word...or what you think the writer meant by it all. Do you think you could ever really know what Poe, Whitman or Plath really meant in their words? To try and understand a writer's intent or feeling is silly to me since all a poem is but a mirror reflecting your own thoughts, feelings or voidness there of...if the poem didn't speak to you. So are your views on the poem really what you think the writer meant or a picture of your own? Just something to think about.

@ gren...nice work...I loved the abstractness of the metaphorical prose...it really allowed my mind to explore different aspects of the word's meanings and draw several conclusions both abstract and direct about how I perceived them.

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gren

You've summed up my exact feelings about poetry; I almost hate to know what an author actually meant in a poem that really speaks to me, as viewing it from someone else's eyes may actually change the way I feel about it, since I can no longer make it personal.

That said, I do appreciate Broken Halo's breakdown. When I'm on the other side, the writer myself, I like to know how the reader's interpretation differed from my own. If someone holds close even a single line from something I've written, it's worth it.

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Gren's Music