+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 1 2
Results 9 to 13 of 13

Thread: Winter

  1. #9
    Otaku -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=-'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Texas,USA
    Posts
    226
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Winter

    Ok.. at first glance, this poem just looks like random words to me, I don't see the meaning, but I took a closer look at what I took from it.

    "Winter
    cut close, cut cold
    "

    Ok, well the first line is confusing, what is cutting? Winter? A knife? It's implied you're talking about winter, consider it's the title. So yeah.. confusing but understood.

    this chill cuts the flesh
    and saws down through the bone
    .

    This stanza is odd, I felt that the word "down" wasn't needed and would help the flow if removed. Again simple imagery, based on the saying "Chilled to the bone."

    run deep, run red

    Ok now what is the red? Is it blood? and if so where did the blood come from? This line makes me think the first stanza is referring to a knife or something literal instead of figurative.

    this blood runs through the vein
    and freezes thick in the heart.


    I like this line, it's easy to understand, ties the poem together, telling us your heart is cold, frozen, which could be considered callused or jaded. Without feeling.

    fall hard, fall far

    So what is falling? Your emotions? is this referenced to how you feel?

    this snow falls on the lips
    and blisters the delicate skin.


    Why the lips, and why does it hurt? Perhaps your lack of emotion is what hurts, which is a contradictory in its self considering you can't be hurt if you have no emotion.

    My love, my winter, will last forever.


    This strikes me as "Dread" as if you don't want to be lifeless or emotionless, stuck in a moment, so to say.



    Over all, I like it, short and sweet, but nothing here is tangible, What I see in this poem is confusion inside ones self, you want to be callused and tough, but that slight aching pain of emotion bleeds through you. Perhaps it's a realization of being human, being vulnerable to ones own thoughts influenced by the outside world of reality. This poem shows me confusion about the writer, which can confuse the reader. If the writer doesn't know what the feeling is in the poem, then neather does the reader. Good poem.. Write more ^.^
    Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23

  2. #10
    Commander Ham Chiefblackhammer is making a name for themselves Chiefblackhammer is making a name for themselves Chiefblackhammer is making a name for themselves Chiefblackhammer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Winston Salem, NC
    Posts
    1,887
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 84 Times in 68 Posts

    Re: Winter

    Quote Originally Posted by -=Broken^Halo=- View Post
    Ok.. at first glance, this poem just looks like random words to me, I don't see the meaning, but I took a closer look at what I took from it.

    "Winter
    cut close, cut cold
    "

    Ok, well the first line is confusing, what is cutting? Winter? A knife? It's implied you're talking about winter, consider it's the title. So yeah.. confusing but understood.

    this chill cuts the flesh
    and saws down through the bone
    .

    This stanza is odd, I felt that the word "down" wasn't needed and would help the flow if removed. Again simple imagery, based on the saying "Chilled to the bone."

    run deep, run red

    Ok now what is the red? Is it blood? and if so where did the blood come from? This line makes me think the first stanza is referring to a knife or something literal instead of figurative.

    this blood runs through the vein
    and freezes thick in the heart.


    I like this line, it's easy to understand, ties the poem together, telling us your heart is cold, frozen, which could be considered callused or jaded. Without feeling.

    fall hard, fall far

    So what is falling? Your emotions? is this referenced to how you feel?

    this snow falls on the lips
    and blisters the delicate skin.


    Why the lips, and why does it hurt? Perhaps your lack of emotion is what hurts, which is a contradictory in its self considering you can't be hurt if you have no emotion.

    My love, my winter, will last forever.


    This strikes me as "Dread" as if you don't want to be lifeless or emotionless, stuck in a moment, so to say.



    Over all, I like it, short and sweet, but nothing here is tangible, What I see in this poem is confusion inside ones self, you want to be callused and tough, but that slight aching pain of emotion bleeds through you. Perhaps it's a realization of being human, being vulnerable to ones own thoughts influenced by the outside world of reality. This poem shows me confusion about the writer, which can confuse the reader. If the writer doesn't know what the feeling is in the poem, then neather does the reader. Good poem.. Write more ^.^
    A poem is suppose to be what you see in it...not what the writer was necessarily intending by each and every word...or what you think the writer meant by it all. Do you think you could ever really know what Poe, Whitman or Plath really meant in their words? To try and understand a writer's intent or feeling is silly to me since all a poem is but a mirror reflecting your own thoughts, feelings or voidness there of...if the poem didn't speak to you. So are your views on the poem really what you think the writer meant or a picture of your own? Just something to think about.

    @ gren...nice work...I loved the abstractness of the metaphorical prose...it really allowed my mind to explore different aspects of the word's meanings and draw several conclusions both abstract and direct about how I perceived them.


  3. #11
    I'm sleepy... Jukebox Hero Champion, Word Up Champion, Word Craze Champion gren may be famous one day gren may be famous one day gren's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    863
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 29 Times in 24 Posts

    Re: Winter

    Quote Originally Posted by chiefblackhammer View Post
    A poem is suppose to be what you see in it...not what the writer was necessarily intending by each and every word...or what you think the writer meant by it all.
    You've summed up my exact feelings about poetry; I almost hate to know what an author actually meant in a poem that really speaks to me, as viewing it from someone else's eyes may actually change the way I feel about it, since I can no longer make it personal.

    That said, I do appreciate Broken Halo's breakdown. When I'm on the other side, the writer myself, I like to know how the reader's interpretation differed from my own. If someone holds close even a single line from something I've written, it's worth it.
    Last edited by gren; May 31, 2007 at 06:32 PM.
    sig by Pyro Psycho

  4. #12
    Otaku -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=-'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Texas,USA
    Posts
    226
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Winter

    Well.. The point in my breakdown was to show I didn't really "Feel" the poem, no offense, but it just didn't speak to me. So I simply showed what I thought the poem represented, not what the writer meant for it to be.
    Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23

  5. #13
    Newbie Serenity Carter may be famous one day Serenity Carter may be famous one day Serenity Carter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Trinidad, D Caribbean
    Posts
    53
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Re: Winter

    Hey, great poem! it does creep me out a little though. and i totally agree with a poem being what you see in it, and not what someone else does. it kinda takes the fun out a figuring it out if it's too straight foward neway.
    Life's short so have a laugh about it

+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 1 2

Similar Threads

  1. Winter Rose
    By Rave_Grip in forum Poems
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: Feb 26, 2007, 04:48 PM
  2. Winter Flower
    By Youth-anime-fan in forum Poems
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: Feb 12, 2007, 08:23 AM
  3. Dead in Winter
    By White_Mage88 in forum Poems
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: Nov 01, 2006, 10:25 AM
  4. 2006 Winter Olympics
    By Zeffervelli in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: Mar 06, 2006, 12:35 PM
  5. Cold Winter *MA* PS2
    By RocknRoll Ronin in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: Nov 01, 2005, 11:19 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts