Winter Flower

Youth-anime-fan · Feb 07, 2007, 05:06 PM

I begin to bloom with the daisy
Welling up with emotion daily,
How far I am going grow,
With the seasons, in the snow.

As my heart shoots out to the sky
I long to take up root and fly
Just a bud during winter,
A flower comes from a cinder.

Having a heart is for those who know
That emotions tend to grow
Out of love that springs from within
Until a lawnmower kills your next of kin.

*divine_punishment* · Feb 07, 2007, 05:08 PM

Very sweet. Don't focus so much on rhyming. Sometimes metre is more important. But sweet, very sweet.

*Kasai* · Feb 07, 2007, 05:16 PM

Lol. I thought hte rhyme was executed wonderfully. And I love the ending.

CherryBlossom18 · Feb 07, 2007, 05:37 PM

It was a very sweet poem. I liked the beggining. Good work and I look forward to reading your next one.

distantdreamer27 · Feb 08, 2007, 01:27 PM

It's a very cute poem.
It flowed well and told a bit of story.
I enjoyed reading... very well done.

venelse · Feb 08, 2007, 07:48 PM

It's brilliant~ and it tells a life story~ I like it nice and simple~

JefferyXie · Feb 10, 2007, 09:50 PM

Very impressive.Good rhyme,poem flows well and nice choice of words.

Darkened_Star · Feb 10, 2007, 10:28 PM

First of all... I love the ending. It made me laugh. The whole poem was good though, and I re-read it again because I liked it so much.

Good job... Can't wait to read the next one.

raja_psyche · Feb 11, 2007, 10:55 PM

The poem flowed smoothly and the rhyming does not hinder the reader for understanding the whole poem. Imagery was really good too. keep up the good work

BlueFox1 · Feb 12, 2007, 04:47 AM

I agree with raja on this one the overall poem is wonderful! Keep up the excellent work!

*atomik_sprout* · Feb 12, 2007, 06:42 AM

Very nice! It a well put together poem. I especially like the use of the lawnmower. ^_^

Feb 07, 2007, 05:06 PM	#1 (permalink)
Youth-anime-fan Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Online Posts: 107 Thanks: 2 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 3,055	Winter Flower I begin to bloom with the daisy Welling up with emotion daily, How far I am going grow, With the seasons, in the snow. As my heart shoots out to the sky I long to take up root and fly Just a bud during winter, A flower comes from a cinder. Having a heart is for those who know That emotions tend to grow Out of love that springs from within Until a lawnmower kills your next of kin. __________________
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Feb 07, 2007, 05:08 PM	#2 (permalink)
divine_punishment Shining Star Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Good question . . . where am I? Posts: 1,271 Thanks: 22 Thanked 27 Times in 22 Posts Credits: 59,274	Re: Winter Flower Very sweet. Don't focus so much on rhyming. Sometimes metre is more important. But sweet, very sweet. __________________ Bite Me!
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Feb 07, 2007, 05:16 PM	#3 (permalink)
Kasai Domme Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 2,745 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,490	Re: Winter Flower Lol. I thought hte rhyme was executed wonderfully. And I love the ending. __________________ Seduced by Flesh
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Feb 07, 2007, 05:37 PM	#4 (permalink)
CherryBlossom18 Heavy Metal Goddess Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: a place where the stars shine as bright as the sun Posts: 578 Thanks: 1 Thanked 16 Times in 16 Posts Credits: 2,336	Re: Winter Flower It was a very sweet poem. I liked the beggining. Good work and I look forward to reading your next one. __________________ "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach" Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice Thanks so much I love it!
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Feb 08, 2007, 01:27 PM	#5 (permalink)
distantdreamer27 Newbie Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Florida Posts: 9 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 110	Re: Winter Flower It's a very cute poem. It flowed well and told a bit of story. I enjoyed reading... very well done.
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Feb 08, 2007, 07:48 PM	#6 (permalink)
venelse Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: WONDER WONDERSUBBERS Posts: 114 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 497	Re: Winter Flower It's brilliant~ and it tells a life story~ I like it nice and simple~ __________________
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Feb 10, 2007, 09:50 PM	#7 (permalink)
JefferyXie Shichibukai Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Sydney Posts: 613 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 210	Re: Winter Flower Very impressive.Good rhyme,poem flows well and nice choice of words.
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Feb 10, 2007, 10:28 PM	#8 (permalink)
Darkened_Star Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Earth Posts: 334 Thanks: 5 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 4,082	Re: Winter Flower First of all... I love the ending. It made me laugh. The whole poem was good though, and I re-read it again because I liked it so much. Good job... Can't wait to read the next one. __________________
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Feb 11, 2007, 10:55 PM	#9 (permalink)
raja_psyche Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: In the Pearl of the Orient Posts: 393 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,497	Re: Winter Flower The poem flowed smoothly and the rhyming does not hinder the reader for understanding the whole poem. Imagery was really good too. keep up the good work __________________ Thank you very much,Reese for this wonderful signature ^_^
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Feb 12, 2007, 04:47 AM	#10 (permalink)
BlueFox1 Upcoming Legend Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility Posts: 584 Thanks: 8 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 1,176	Re: Winter Flower I agree with raja on this one the overall poem is wonderful! Keep up the excellent work! __________________
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Feb 12, 2007, 06:42 AM	#11 (permalink)
atomik_sprout CHUCK NORRIS!!! Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Minneapolis, MN Posts: 2,087 Thanks: 55 Thanked 69 Times in 64 Posts Credits: 110,749	Re: Winter Flower Very nice! It a well put together poem. I especially like the use of the lawnmower. ^_^ __________________ http://www.myspace.com/boondocksamurai
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