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Thread: Wish I wasn't here...

  1. #1
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Wish I wasn't here...

    Wishing I wasn't here
    because you are not around.
    Hoping you'll return to me
    and pick me up off the ground.

    Upset because my time is up
    and I have nothing left.
    Happy that you are trying
    hard not to be upset.

    Loving you everyday,
    because you've given me so much.
    Hating him all the time.
    Simply put, backstabbers suck.

    In denail about my situation,
    wishing it was not real.
    Knowing that the walls I build
    will only hide what I feel.

    Pretending that it doesn't
    matter, so people will never know.
    Acting like I'm in a good mood,
    yet wishing they'd cancel this "show".

    Unsure of what the future holds
    or what it may possibly bring.
    Quite certain that you're still
    the one I want to give "the ring".

    Wishing that I wasn't here,
    for my future is so unclear.

    Wishing that I wasn't in
    this spot, why isn't HE standing here??
    Last edited by atomik_sprout; Nov 12, 2007 at 01:00 PM. Reason: colors


  2. #2
    Slippery When Wet~ Trampoline Tricks 2 Champion, Togy Ball Champion highteckdudu is off to a good start highteckdudu's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I wasn't here...

    In denail about my situation,
    wishing it was not real.
    Knowing that the walls I build
    will only hide what I feel.


    Walls, that was agreat point! I seem to connect with this one alot more than i want too, you seemed to hit it on the, but enough about me, I like the way you put it in sequesce, the feeling of it was phenominal, scarry and sad but pheniominal, keep up the work! hope to see more! and I hope you fill that empty void!
    I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
    Visit www.highteckdudu.deviantart.com!

  3. #3
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I wasn't here...

    Quote Originally Posted by highteckdudu View Post
    In denail about my situation,
    wishing it was not real.
    Knowing that the walls I build
    will only hide what I feel.


    Walls, that was agreat point! I seem to connect with this one alot more than i want too, you seemed to hit it on the, but enough about me, I like the way you put it in sequesce, the feeling of it was phenominal, scarry and sad but pheniominal, keep up the work! hope to see more! and I hope you fill that empty void!
    Hey, thanks! I'm glad you like this one so much. This poem was originally written just so I can sort my thoughts, but ended up being something "post-worthy" in my eyes, so I figured I'd share it with AO.


  4. #4
    Chtonian Slayer Astaroth may be famous one day Astaroth's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I wasn't here...

    This is really good.....my favorite part is

    Pretending that it doesn't
    matter, so people will never know.
    Acting like I'm in a good mood,
    yet wishing they'd cancel this "show".

    especially the last line........very unique way of putting it.......
    DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON

  5. #5
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I wasn't here...

    Quote Originally Posted by Astaroth View Post
    This is really good.....my favorite part is

    Pretending that it doesn't
    matter, so people will never know.
    Acting like I'm in a good mood,
    yet wishing they'd cancel this "show".

    especially the last line........very unique way of putting it.......
    Yeah, I've found myself telling people that I don't want to be on this "reality show" any longer. Thanks for taking the time to read my poetry. I'm glad you like it. ^_^


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    Re: Wish I wasn't here...

    this is nicely done... i love the flow to this poem...it feels like something slowly flowing out...like blood from a wound... like tears forcing itself out... a very nice effect..

    Wishing that I wasn't in
    this spot, why isn't HE standing here??
    well thats a bad thing in your mind.. you can't wish for mischief on others... it's evil.. no matter what they did...

    just smile it off~ ^^ and look at the brightsides of things that happened...

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
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  7. #7
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I wasn't here...

    Quote Originally Posted by RayMe View Post
    this is nicely done... i love the flow to this poem...it feels like something slowly flowing out...like blood from a wound... like tears forcing itself out... a very nice effect..



    well thats a bad thing in your mind.. you can't wish for mischief on others... it's evil.. no matter what they did...

    just smile it off~ ^^ and look at the brightsides of things that happened...
    Thanks, Ray. I'm glad you liked this one. I was kinda going for what you described--something slowly pouring out. I can't help but think that "he" should be in my shoes. But that's only because I'm the "victim" in this matter. He's doin' just fine where he's at--backstabbing aside--so, when I wrote this, I had to aim something at him. But you're right, wishing misfortune on others is bad. Thanks for your comment.


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    Re: Wish I wasn't here...

    awwwww the idea of slowly pouring out something really showed in this poem Atomik. Its well described and the rhyming again helped bring the poem to life.

    I really like the stanza
    Pretending that it doesn't
    matter, so people will never know.
    Acting like I'm in a good mood,
    yet wishing they'd cancel this "show".
    I can relate to that stanza very well as it is something I would do when my friends were around me. Hoping not to alter their mood in anyway I would try to hide my pain so they would be happy.

    It really did flow really well and there was nothing to break the flow from one line to the next. It really is one of your best works.
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