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Thread: Within the Clan

  1. #1
    super effective Last Man Standing Champion FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd's Avatar
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    Within the Clan

    Savagely breaking ties that bind
    Finding myself lost in my sick mind
    Staring at his blood dripping down my hand
    It has it’s own color, it’s very own brand

    The knife driven deep in his dead heart
    His desecrated body is my modern art
    My body is his no longer
    This heat in my face growing stronger

    Our family is sick and twisted every which way
    Becoming blacker and blacker by the day
    A riddle twisted history lounging in sin
    My father and mother shared the same kin

    A father and a grandpa being the same man
    Mother was his sister, breeding within the clan
    Now a growing pile of genetic discontent
    All I can be is bent

    Sadly fathers time has come to a quite bloody end
    A task not done alone but with my lover, my best friend
    As now dead, my mother joined father in his sewn bed
    So now we can be alone, just together, free from dread

    All by ourselves, left alone to wallow
    Laying side by side never feeling hollow
    Loving each other more than our big purple sky
    Just my sister and I

    ---
    Was in the poem section, checking the titles, looking for inspiration. "Labyrinth of the Mind" and "Through my eyes" made me think. So I went and wrote this, decided to do a rhyming poem this time cause I haven't done one in a while.

    I guess I should thank the two who made the poems, thanks for getting me off my butt. Enjoy the poem peoples.
    Last edited by FLawEdmiNd; Nov 04, 2007 at 01:02 PM.
    the love you withhold is the pain you carry.

  2. #2
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: Within the Clan

    Well now... If I helped inspire this, then.... I guess Im just honored. This poem was everything! It was full of rage and sickness, anger... with a touch of sadness. And yet, I couldnt help but to laugh at the end... So it was humorous too!

    I suppose delightfully insane is the only way to describe that.

    But it was VERY well written. Im glad you decided to rhyme it, that always makes things seem so much more clever to me. If you can manage to have good imagery, complexity, AND rhyme it. Then you're nothing short of extremely gifted.

    So now that I have gotten a good look at exactly how flawed your mind really is, I'll be looking out for more insanity. I love it.
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Within the Clan

    I must agree in everything with Peach.... This poem is justg great, it created disgust, saddness, a smile and even a wish for blood in me, a very good work with that!

    I just love the first stranza- it's just great!!!! Perfect! I think it might enspire me to write something too ^^ I think it really could... a story only... so thank You for that.

    Shortly- woderful work, I really enjoyed reading it and will be looking forward for more!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    super effective Last Man Standing Champion FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd's Avatar
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    Re: Within the Clan

    Oh gosh, I feel so loved ^^ Seriously, it means a bunch to me that my poem actually evoked something from another person, and that the meaning of the poem to me did not deteriorate when others found their own meaning for it.

    Glad I can help Lasura.. and thanks Peach, you two a very nice ^^ and I'm very happy with my odd state of mind, it makes controversy that much more satisfying.
    the love you withhold is the pain you carry.

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