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Oct 15, 2006, 08:57 AM
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 4.01 M33-2  | Words Can Words can't describe This pain I have inside To throw my life away Never to live another day Words can't describe The suffering behind the bribe I gave everything for love's sake But your love was just fake Words can't describe How I felt when you lied And I knew you were lying I couldn't stop crying Words can't describe What I see when I close my eyes Visions of a broken dream All the words I didn't mean Words can't describe All the ****ing times I fell into your traps I just wanna twist your neck til it snaps Words can't describe The day I saw you die It was the first time I smiled It has been awhile Words can't describe The joy I have inside To take your life away Never to live another day Can someone change the title to Words Can't Describe... the enter button was stuck...
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Oct 15, 2006, 10:42 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
  Getting Married 3-14-09  Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: at home doing wedding planning
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 Credits: 3,168 | Re: Words Can Its lovely. I like the rhyming also. Keep it up
__________________  ~Music Is My Boyfriend!!~ |
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Oct 16, 2006, 12:48 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Devoted Otaku  Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility
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Credits: 1,326 | Re: Words Can The ryhme scheme is excellent, just elaborate a little more on stanzas, but good job keep working on your skill! 
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Oct 16, 2006, 01:12 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
 Member of 22 yr old Club  Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: In my imagination restricted by British Society!
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Credits: 34,794 | Re: Words Can its a great poem Solking  i liked it....i liked the bit about twisting you neck till it snaps....sorry it just stood out to me thats all.
__________________ FAVOURITE THREADS EXPLAIN why, or risk an infraction.  Well Just one more sig won't hurt, right? how about another??? Sazzy-Bu.co.uk |
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Oct 17, 2006, 06:36 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
 Diamond in the Rough  Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: In forests of fantasy...
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Credits: 1,748 | Re: Words Can I thought it was an amusing and interesting poem. The words and lines flowed smoothly and got me through to the end without having to stop and think. I also like how the ending turned out, how the poem's story progressed to its end. It's different, that I can say. If you can write with the same smoothness of lines using other themes, I think that would be also great, since your writing seems to have a grip to a reader such as myself, and you can work that to your advantage. Just keep the poems coming, and a unique theme once in a while will definitely make you stand out and keep you challenged. That's just my opinion.
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Oct 18, 2006, 08:08 AM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Diamond in the Rough  Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In a banana
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 Credits: 4,411 | Re: Words Can wow that was good dude keep it upo
__________________   The heavens laugh at our foolish deed and the greed we exceed |
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