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Thread: Words Can

  1. #1
    5.00 M33-6 solking may be famous one day solking may be famous one day solking's Avatar
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    Words Can

    Words can't describe
    This pain I have inside
    To throw my life away
    Never to live another day

    Words can't describe
    The suffering behind the bribe
    I gave everything for love's sake
    But your love was just fake

    Words can't describe
    How I felt when you lied
    And I knew you were lying
    I couldn't stop crying

    Words can't describe
    What I see when I close my eyes
    Visions of a broken dream
    All the words I didn't mean

    Words can't describe
    All the ****ing times
    I fell into your traps
    I just wanna twist your neck til it snaps

    Words can't describe
    The day I saw you die
    It was the first time I smiled
    It has been awhile

    Words can't describe
    The joy I have inside
    To take your life away
    Never to live another day





    Can someone change the title to Words Can't Describe... the enter button was stuck...

  2. #2
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Words Can

    Hmm. I actually like the rhyming. I just think he stanzas couldve been more full.
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    Re: Words Can

    Its lovely. I like the rhyming also. Keep it up
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·._.·'¯) ♥

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    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: Words Can

    The ryhme scheme is excellent, just elaborate a little more on stanzas, but good job keep working on your skill!

  5. #5
    Lost in confusion Tetrix 2 v2 Champion Sazzy is making a name for themselves Sazzy is making a name for themselves Sazzy's Avatar
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    Re: Words Can

    its a great poem Solking i liked it....i liked the bit about twisting you neck till it snaps....sorry it just stood out to me thats all.
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    Otaku eleonne has disabled reputation eleonne's Avatar
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    Re: Words Can

    I thought it was an amusing and interesting poem. The words and lines flowed smoothly and got me through to the end without having to stop and think. I also like how the ending turned out, how the poem's story progressed to its end. It's different, that I can say. If you can write with the same smoothness of lines using other themes, I think that would be also great, since your writing seems to have a grip to a reader such as myself, and you can work that to your advantage. Just keep the poems coming, and a unique theme once in a while will definitely make you stand out and keep you challenged. That's just my opinion.

  7. #7
    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
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    Re: Words Can

    Nice one solking, i never thought that you were good at writting kool poems. Keep it up man.

  8. #8
    5.00 M33-6 solking may be famous one day solking may be famous one day solking's Avatar
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    Re: Words Can

    Its a bit difficult for me to consistently write poems. I'll take everyone's advice one the stanzas (looks up stanza on wikipedia) and other things that were mentioned.

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